Max's Miscellaneous Musings

I don't know how this happened.. but today when I changed the tube on the back wheel, the Gatorskin came off with only a single nudge from the tyre levers.  And.. I got most of it back on without levers, and actually got the last of the bead on by hand!!!    Could it be that I have beaten the Gatorskin into submission?  That the mere threat of acquiring super-powered tyre-fitting tools was enough to cow it into behaving?  I'm not going to question it.  I'm merely accepting it!

The not-so-good news is that I could not find a definitive cause for the puncture.  I found the hole in the tube, but it appears to be on the inside edge of the tube, suggesting there was some foreign body/protrusion on the inside of the rim of the wheel.  That's not cool.  In any case, I dug a shitload of glass out of the Gatorskin, so here's hoping that's the end of the flat tyres for a while.

After my rant the other day about the Continental Gatorskins, I ordered two sets of special, magic, stubborn-tyre-removing tyre levers.  Both of which had to come from overseas because Australia is a fucking barren wasteland when it comes to affordable bike stuff and therefore will not come into my possession for a few weeks... but I digress.  The point of this post is to say this:

I came in this morning to find my fucking Gatorskin has a fucking flat.

Scratch at least two hours out of my life when I come home tonight.  Sigh. 

You'll recall that some time ago, I wrote a post entitled "I am a judgemental turd", in which I questioned the Fat Cyclist's ability to start dating so soon after the death of his wife.  Fatty's latest blog entry addresses this issue, in a much classier way than I could ever have articulated.  Onya, Fatty.

I just had the most brilliant ride out to Nudgee and back!  Even though there were lots of pedestrians to dodge during the first half of the ride, I managed to make it to Nudgee in PB time, averaging 26.8Kph!!!!!  And the return trip was almost as good, with an overall average of 26Kph, another PB!  YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

This is what you'll find when you search for tyre levers on Google.  What the? 

Continental's Gatorskin tyres are a blessing and a curse, all rolled into one tyre-shaped lump of rubber.  The blessing is that they are puncture-resistant.  At least, they claim to be.  I've had so few punctures in my cycling life (four punctures in 30 years of cycling, and all of them were in 2009!) that I really can't comment.  Or, as they say in scientific circles, I don't have a sufficiently large data set from which to draw conclusions.

Anyway.  The Gatorskins are great when they're actually on a wheel.  But if, for any reason, you have need to remove and/or reinstall said Gatorskin, be prepared to throw away anywhere between 1 to 2 hours of your life.  These are no ordinary tyres.  No, they fall into a category of tyre I can only politely describe as "reluctant".

I've been having an ongoing drama with my bike's tubes.  The generic "Swallow" brand I've been using has two problems.  First, they tend not to retain air for more than a single day.  So I have to inflate my tyres every single motherfucking ride.  This is made worse by the fact that the valves are constructed in such a fashion that they rarely admit air.  I actually have to half deflate the tyre in order for the valve to start working.  If I do not do this, the only thing that gets inflated is the tube running from the pump to the valve.  If by some miracle, I manage to get the air inside this tubing to somewhere around 120-130PSI, the valve finally succumbs and allows air to pass through its evil, useless, pathetic, metallic body.  At that point, I inevitably discover I've been riding on 60PSI (instead of 130!).

All this is actually leading to the point I'll soon be making.  In desperation, I turned to the experts at BNA, who made all sorts of suggestions.  Some suggested my pump was the problem.  Some suggested the tubes.  Some suggested my technique.  I've had some troubles with the pump anyway, so decided I might as well get a track pump to leave at work.  I tried the track pump, and had the same problem - valve not admitting air.  OK, so it's not the pump.  No worries, it's not a useless expense as I needed a pump at work anyway.

Last week, I headed down to Epic and got myself some Michelin Airstop tubes.  Knowing that the Gatorskin is a pain in the arse to replace, I decided to do the front tyre first.  It is (or was, I'll get to that later) a Maxxis Colombiere, the tyre that came with the bike.  The Colombieres are extra easy to install and remove (no levers required) as they are nice, soft, bendy, folding tyres.  In the process of replacing the tube, I decided to inspect the tyre and discovered a cut running approx 3/4 of the way across its width.  Time to replace the tyre!  I begged BestMate for one of his new Vittoria Rubino Pro folding tyres, and he graciously gave me one.

Installation of the Rubino was pretty easy as it's a folding tyre.  The very last bit of the bead did require a little encouragement, however, with some tyre levers.  Still, only about 30 minutes of my life was spent on it.  The upshot of all of this is that the Michelin tubes have made a difference.  They're not perfect.  I still need to release some air from the tyres when inflating, but nowhere near what I had to with the Swallow brand.

Pleased with the Michelin on the front, I decided to install the other tube on the back.  I knew going in that I would have a struggle with the Gatorskin.  Previous encounters with Gatorskins have resulted in blood blisters on my thumbs.  So I knew I'd be in for a tough time.  Still, I knew the end result would be worth it.

Anyway.. we are finally at the stage of this post that I finally get to my point.  The Gatorskins are a fuckin' bitch to get onto the wheel.  I spent fully two motherfucking hours installing this goddamn tyre on the wheel.  Even the first bloody bead didn't want to go on by hand.  I had to use tyre levers the whole fucking way until it finally got to that last part of tyre installation that is always tougher than the rest - the last few inches of tyre.  No matter the tyre, this part is tougher than installing the rest, as the tyre is being stretched over a rim that is larger than the tyre's bead.  I accept that.  But the Gatorskin takes this process to a completely new level of  finger-breaking, lever-snapping frustration.  Note that no fingers or tyre levers were actually snapped.  Just accept the metaphor for what it is, OK?

Pride be damned, I wanted to ride, not spend any more time fucking around with the tyre.  As I sat there, cursing, sweating, in pain, my thumbs alternating between numb and burning, I considered taking the wheel and tyre into a bike shop, wherein they would surely put their years of experience and collection of specialised tools to use, and mount the tyre in seconds.  I considered this seriously.  Right up until when I looked at the clock and realised it was past 5pm.  FUCKIT!

I finally got the tyre onto the rim by "walking" the tyre levers to get it over that last part of the rim.  Fucksake.  I squeezed evey part of the tyre to make sure the tube wasn't trapped between it and the rim.  The last thing I wanted was a pinch flat, necessitating further removal and reinstallation of the tyre.  All good, I inflated the tyre and moved on with my life.  I'll be taking The Beast out for a ride late this afternoon, when the heat has settled down, to make sure everything's fine with the bike.

*Phew*  All that to tell the story of a stubborn tyre!

This tube-changing task was part of some maintenance I've been putting off.  Yesterday, I put the bike on the stand and, having removed the back wheel for the tube change, noticed that the cassette was full of crud.  So I degreased the crap out of it and washed it and meticulously cleaned between each cog.  Having done that, I realised the chain would just deliver more crap to its beautiful, clean, pristine teeth.  So I removed the chain, too.  Yay for the quick-release doodads on fancy racing chains!  Then I realised the chainrings were full of crud too, so they'd need to be cleaned as well.

In deference to my limited mechanical skills, I did not remove the crankset.  I settled for leaving the chainrings on the bike and cleaned them in situ.  I treated the chain to a big dose of degreaser though, followed by meticulous scrubbing of each link, washing, rinsing and drying.  I've never seen the chain so clean!  Then I cleaned the jockey wheels on the derailleur and reinstalled the chain.  Incorrectly.  I missed passing the chain through one of the guards.  Of course, I did not notice this until I had oiled the chain and was changing the gears to distribute the oil.  Hmm, what's that noise?  Why has the back wheel locked up?  Could the derailleur be out of alignment?  No... it was fine until you fucked around with the chain, Max.. think about it logically.

Sure enough, I found the problem - which of course involved removing and reinstalling the chain and getting covered in chain oil.  I suppose that is appropriate punishment for incompetence.  It could've been worse - I could've discovered it on the road.  Oh, that would've been bad.

Anyway.  Long story made somewhat shorter - the drivetrain is now absolutely spotless.  Until this afternoon, of course, when I go for a ride.  Until then, I am basking in the drivetrain's shiny, immaculate glory.

I really enjoyed watching Rent the other night.  I ended up downloading a couple of the songs from iTunes.  I can't decide which I prefer, Seasons of Love, or Take Me Or Leave Me.  I think I'm going with TMOLM at this moment, but that might change in SOL's favour in a minute.  For now, enjoy these lyrics (apologies for poor grammar/spelling, it's a cut-n-paste from a lyrics site):

Maureen:
every single day,
i walk down the street
i hear people say 'baby so sweet'
ever since puberty
everybody stares at me
boys girls i can't help it baby
so be kind and don't lose your mind
just remember that i'm your baby

take me for what i am
who i was meant to be
and if you give a damn
take me baby
or leave me

take me baby or leave me

Maureen:
a tiger in a cage
can never see the sun
this diva needs her stage
baby lets have fun
you are the one i choose
folks would kill to fill your shoes
you love the lime light to now baby
so be mine and don't waste my time
cryin' 'oh honey bear are you still my, my, my baby?'

take me for what i am
who i was meant to be
and if you give a damn
take me baby or leave me

no way, can i be what i'm not
but hey, don't you want your girl hot?
don't fight, don't loose your head
'cause every night who's in your bed?
who?
who's in your bed?

spoken:kiss pookie

Joanne:
it won't work
i look before i leap
i love margins and discipline
i make lists in my sleep baby
whats my sin?
never quit
i follow through
i hate mess but i love you
what do with my improptu baby?
so be wise 'cause this girl satisfies
you got a prize but don't compomise
you're one lucky baby

Joanne: take me for what i am
Maureen: a control freak
Joanne: who i was meant to be
Maureen: a snob yet over attentive
Joanne: and if you give a damn
Maureen: a loveable droll geek
Joanne: take me baby or leave me
Maureen: a anal retentave

both: thats it
Joanne: the straw that breaks my back
both: i quit
Joanne: unless you take it back
both: women
Maureen: what is it about them?
both: can't live with them or without them

chorus:
both: take me for what i am
Joanne: who i was meant to be
Maureen: who i was meant to be
and if you give a damn
Joanne: and if you give a damn then
take me baby, or leave me
Maureen:take me baby, take me or la-la-la-la-la-leave me
both: take me baby or leave me
spoken: guess i'm leaving i'm gone!

Every once in a while, I check out my blog's stats to see how people learn about the site.  Mostly it's search engine hits, the most popular ones being people looking for reviews on Deuter backpacks (recall, I wrote a review a while back).

But easily the funniest recent one is a google search for "sacrilegious humour" (yay, I'm number one on the list!!).  Go on, click it!

I happened to catch Rent on Fox the other day.  Wow.  Just... wow.  I really wish I'd seen this thing when it was in Australia.  Now it's stopped showing (at least, the Broadway production.. now it's the turn of all the two-bit amateur productions), I guess I'll just have to settle for the DVD.

Dang.