Max's Miscellaneous Musings

My little black dog turns one today!  I'll post some photos over the weekend

This one is priceless, a) because of the level involved in trying to sell their product, and b) the shocking Penglish (that's Polish English, folks).  They almost had my business though, until they declared their use of Windows NT.  That is sooooooooooooo 1999.

Give a leg up
Customers that are really fearful almost speeds that a viewer can spy their spot, prerequisite to consider how irresponsible the servers are. Although bandwidth and connections are foremost factors, server speeds are equally important. A server that is a hotelier to many sites that are being accessed simultaneously may keep one's head above water bogged down. No topic how stable the connection is this can seriously slow down a viewer’s hastiness to surf as a consequence a site. A straightforward avenue to evaluate the skedaddle at which a server responds is called "pinging" a site. This will determine how speedily a server can obtain and send behindhand a miniature piece of facts including the kin you acquire to it.

Processor go like a bat out of hell is also important. Undoubted sites settle upon walk away greater demands on the innkeeper's CPU and choice consequently show a clean pair of heels slower - and leaden-footed down every other orientation on the server as cordially (Beginner's Example, 2000). Streaming video and audio, review forums and message boards, online surveys, and high-level zest all desire huge amounts of memory and fasting access to the duct server. Overloaded processors can cautiously down a position's transmission considerably.

Server Software
Server software can also affect a site. UNIX and Windows NT are the most common server software environments. Advanced developers should be aware of what applications they will be using and assess which software territory intent best conform to their needs. Some hosting companies not make available anyone of the two software options.

Deposit
Protecting a purlieus's figures from unwanted intrusions is another mood thoughtfulness for the snare developer when selecting a host. The hosting corporation's pledge protocols should be outlined. Safeguard from run-of-the-mill repudiation of putting into play attacks and the various hacks and cracks that disposition be attempted on your server is essential. The hosting company should be dependable for the benefit of upgrading and maintaining these security measures. "The purely deed worse than having no security is ratiocinative you possess some" (Declaration the Entertainer, 2001).

Bloke Employment
Air force is another grave complexion to regard when shopping with a view a host. Hosts put up for sale a multiplicity of fellow usefulness options. Services offered can be 24-hour impost sprung tons, 24-hour email assistance, Habitually Asked Questions pages and help forums. The amount of succour you authority prerequisite depends generally on your episode and problems you face from the server.

Reliability
Checking excuse the reliability of a advice is also uncommonly important. Hosts for the most part receive several backup systems in case something goes off beam with the particular servers. They also can bond less "down period" by backup power systems such as a diesel generator.

My new host is pretty good at getting rid of email spam before it ever reaches me.  However, when it comes to comment spam (ie from this blog), it occasionally defeats my antispam tool and reaches me.  Most of the time, the spam in question tries to suck up to me and says things like "Your blog is wonderful!  I've bookmarked it and will definitely return!".  Now, this makes me feel very good about myself, because it means that not only is my blog good, it's so good that it's known within the spamming community!  :lol:

Today's spam was another story.  It's clear they're not being Mr Nice Guy anymore:

"I'll complain that you have copied material from another source".

Yup, you read that right.  The spammers are threatening to dob me in for plagiarism.  Don't these people know you catch more flies with honey than vinegar?

I love the Runglish (Russian English) in this spam.  See the yellow highlights.

Greatings Mister the Best Man!

The reduction of the universe to a single being, the expansion of a single being even to God, this is love.

Hello Honey! I would like to tell you a bit about myself.

I'm tall with a middle figure.

I have long blond, very beautiful hair, small nice nose, perfect lips and big blue eyes.

I am a sociable easy going person, so I like meeting friends, going out, have fun and new something interesting.

I'm looking for a strong relations with a caring and smart man!

I am really tired of all these temporary relations.

I would like to find a man who will be able to estimate not only my beauty, but also my brain and my soul...

I want him to kind and handsome, brave and tender, romantic and honest.

my site: <removed>

my sweetheart, hope to hear soon from you

This would have to be one of the best spams I've received in ages.  Why in the hell would I want to buy charcoal from overseas?  Unless that charcoal miraculously turns into diamonds, I aint buying.

We offer charcoal for BBQ.
We select our charcoal from the best type of Hard Woods.
Origin - Ukraine.
Delivery direct from Ukraine.
We are manufacturer.
We are able to pack in different type and size of bags.We can achieve the best charcoal price with the best quality
We are looking for business co-operation with you.

Holy shit, it's been a while since I've updated this blog.  Months have passed and I didn't even realise it.  Lots has happened between then and now, and I'm a bit busy to write it all just at the moment... meanwhile, see if you enjoy this new site I've been working on.

I just learned about this site called Strava.com.  It's like a lot of other GPS upload/ride mapping sites in that you upload your ride data and it does stuff with it.  But what's different is that it compares your rides a) to each other and b) to other peoples'.  So it creates leaderboards and other cool stuff.

I was so impressed with this that I signed up for a paid account so that I could upload all of my rides.  And lo, it turns out that the ride I wrote about on the 3rd of February was in fact a near-PB!    I knew it had been a good ride home, but didn't realise it was *that* good!!! 

I just CBF studying today.  It's a beautiful day and I'd rather spend it outside in the hammock reading a good book.  Think I might do that after this fly-by posting.

My one or two regular readers will recall that I attended a vSphere 4.1 course last week.  It was pretty full-on, being that I knew close to nothing about the product before attending.  I got a lot out of it.  I've decided this is the way to go, career-wise.  My immediate goal is to get the VCP and to update my MS certs.

With this in mind, I'm setting up a test lab.  My initial plan was to set the whole thing up under VMware Workstation:

• 2 x ESXi 4.1 hosts (ie virtualised under Workstation), hosting their own VMs
• A vCenter server to manage the two hosts
• A Win2k8R2 DC to provide directory/authentication services
• A hardware NAS appliance to provide iSCSI and NFS storage locations for the two virtualised hosts to use

The thing about training courses is that the systems you're provided are pre-installed with everything you need to just get stuck into it.  You don't need to concern yourself with the installation of the host(s), the configuration of the operating system that will host vCenter etc etc etc.... you know where I'm going with this, right?

The installation of the virtualised ESXi host was very straight-forward.  There's really not much to it.  I configured the TCP/IP settings and moved on to setting up the vCenter box.  It all installed fine.  viClient connected fine to the vCenter service.  I was able to connect the host, and lo, I was ready to repeat the labs I'd done during the course.

But within seconds, things started to come unstuck.  There was a great big red X against the host object.  Hmm.  It's disconnected itself.  OK.. I can ping it.. hmm, odd.  Reconnect.  Let's get on with creating some guest VMs (yes, a guest inside a guest).  I got as far as mounting the ISO, then it crapped out again.  Disconnected.  What the?  Fine.. maybe the host's unhappy.. I'll do the obligatory reboot of both host and vCenter.  Predictably, this did nothing except waste some of my time.  Sure enough, once I logged on, the problem recurred.

I tried everything I could think of (ie not much, since I know only just less than fuck-all about vSphere).  I actually resigned myself to the looming reality that I might not be able to do this completely virtualised after all.  EVEN THOUGH OTHERS HAVE DONE IT!!!!!  So I trawled ebay.  I trawled auction houses.  I ummed and ahhed.  Should I go with a whitebox build?  Should I just bite the bullet and get something that's VMware certified - so that in the event that it all goes to shit, at least I know there's no underlying incompatibility?  But, oh, God... the money.  The money.  THE MONEY!  I paid for this vSphere course out of my own pocket (GreenSight's training budget is now non-existent), so I was already out a touch over four grand.  Could I really finance a fully physical test environment?  Finally, I decided no way, no how - if others have done this, I can too.  The problem isn't that this can't be done.  The problem is that I don't know how to do it!

I consulted the all-knowing Google (not for the first time, I might add).  I had to trawl through lots of useless results before finally hitting upon the right combination of search terms, keywords and operators to get the information I needed.  I found a link to a VMware knowledge base article that suggested IP connectivity might be the problem.  See, I'd pinged the host from the vCenter server, but not the other way round.  Because the pings all came back, I'd assumed - incorrectly - that all was good with the network.  I'd forgotten, you see, that Microsoft, in its wisdom, enables a fucking firewall on Windows Server 2003 and up.  Sure enough, when I pinged the vCenter server from the host, they all failed.  MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!

Once I understood that the problem was with the vCenter server itself, I disabled the Windows Firewall and voila!  Perfect connectivity!

Now - there will be some among you who might think that I was a dickhead for not realising this all on my own.  And you're right.  However, this is the sort of learning that pays off over and over and over again.  As a result of this exercise, I now know something I didn't before.  You see, managed ESXi hosts like to say hello to their management servers.  Not every once in a while.  Every ten seconds!  Yes, the instructor did mention this.  Yes, I should've realised its significance.  And it seems I even made a big note of it in the course textbook.  But if it weren't for this incident, I wouldn't have run a network capture afterwards, and I wouldn't have seen just how chatty these systems are.  The instructor did point out that vCenter and the hosts it manages like to be well-connected, but this really highlighted it.  It's something I won't ever forget.

Thankyou, Windows Firewall.  For once, you achieved something useful.

All sorts of things have been happening, work-wise.  It's reminded me that I need to keep my skills up to date.  I've decided it's time to update my MCSE to an MCITP:EA.  I've also decided I need to get some other specialties under my belt.  To this end, I'm learning about VMware vSphere, with a view to doing the VCP certification.  I've also decided that I really ought to round it out with a CCNA (I've only studied the CCNA coursework, oh, about half a dozen times in the last ten years.. funnily enough, for things other than certification).

Now, I've been using VMware products in some form or another even since they started (around 1998, from memory).  I used the VMware products to create test labs so that I could do my NT4 and 2000 MCSE study.  Back then, VMware (which later became a separate product called VMware Workstation) was in its infancy.  It was a handy tool, useful for test labs and such, but was still pretty green.  Much has changed between then and now, with VMware becoming a world leader in virtualisation.

I had an opportunity to learn about VMware's vSphere 4 platform a few years back and turned it down.  I should've realised that it was the Next Big Thing and gone with it.  Instead, I thought "meh" and moved on with my life.  This is completely in line with how I judge things that later turn out to be HUGE.  Here are a few of the things that, over the years, I've looked at and thought "who'd ever use that":

1. Sharepoint
2. NetApp and other SAN and SAN-like products
3. Facebook/Twitter/Myspace/any other variation on social networking
4. iPhones (words my missus will never let me forget I said: "A phone should just be a phone")
5. iPads (I still stand by my judgement that this is an unnecessary thing, but the world disagrees with me)

In my defence, I always did think that Google and Amazon would turn out to be huge.  However, here's a tip for you:  If ever you come up with an idea and want to know if it's a world-changer, just ask me.  If my answer is "meh", GO FOR IT!  You'll make a fortune, and I'll be able to say "I knew that person back when they were nothing!"

Anyhow.  Back to VMware.

I snaffled a workmate's course material from when he did the VMware vSphere course.  Just the first few chapters really opened my eyes about this family of products and what it can do for businesses.  I'm very excited about it now.  So excited that I've signed myself up for the vSphere course.  Lotsa $$$ that work can't afford, so it's come out of my pocket.    However, I think it will do me the world of good professionally and also intellectually.

I've spent the last few days setting up a VMware test lab.  Trying to do this on a budget of zero dollars, my first strategy was to try to set up an ESXi server as a guest inside VMware Workstation.  Believe it or not, this is technically possible, and it does actually seem to work.  However, there are a few challenges with this:

1. RAM.  I've got 8GB in my machine, and ESXi wants 2GB just for itself.  It also needs a vCenter server set up, which means an x64 server-class OS installed in another guest.  Goodbye another 1GB of RAM.  Actually, 2GB, because it will also need an instance of SQL Server Express, and 1GB just aint enough.  Then there's the RAM for my host machine to do what it needs to do (because I have lots of other windows open researching this and that).  And finally, the ESXi guest will eventually need more RAM allocated to it so that I can create some actual guests on it.  8GB just aint cutting it, and the fallback (paging) is just killing the disk with IOPS.
2. Disk space.  100GB free sounds like a lot until you start allocating it to VMs here and there.
3. Performance.  Oy.  With the two points above, it should be no surprise that it runs like a bag of crap.  Also, the ESXi "host" keeps losing its connection to the network.
4. Realism.  I can try and keep it all on the one piece of hardware, but I just don't think that's going to cut it.

As much as I've been trying to avoid it, I think I will have to create a lab of physical machines to properly round out my education.  Fortunately for me, I have plenty of Cisco crap already so it's going to be all about the VMware lab.

I'm going to have to do a bit more learning before I decide on an ideal lab, but I'm thinking one host machine with lots of RAM and a 2TB disk (newsflash: ESX can't cope with larger disks), plus a second machine running something like OpenFiler to act as a quasi-SAN for testing the HA/DRS/vMotion etc capabilities of vSphere.  I suspect this lab will grow as my curiosity grows, but it's a decent start.  And it will, of course, be strung together with all my spare Cisco gear.

Anyway... that's what's going on with me at the moment.  I must go now, I have much VMware-related web browsing to do.

This would have to be one of the funniest YouTubes evah:

A friend recently admonished me for not keeping my blog up to date.  In my defence, I've been using Facebook to dish out one-liners instead of producing the sort of prose I'd normally write here.  So if you were a Facebook friend, you'd be seeing all my witty one-liners instead of coming here to see the same old months-old posts.

Anyway.  Much has been happening and TBH I don't want to spend too much time writing about it here, so here's a few bullet points.

• The puppies are growing up fast.  They're getting on great, which we're very pleased about.  They're a lot of hard work, too.  I'd forgotten how much effort is required to live with puppies.
• Yesteray, Ziva had a lump removed from her head.  It's been there since day one, and growing.  We all expected to find it full of grass seeds or some other foreign body.  In fact, it turned out to be the remnants of a tube that contained her spinal cord in utero.  It was attached to her skull and had to be detached from the bone.  The vet ended up removing about two square inches of tissue, skin and hair that had grown into the tube.  She seems content and I can’t help feeling that she seems much happier and more alert.  I could be imagining this last part, of course, but anyway, she’s OK.  We have to keep her confined for 10 days.  We've got a cage (which they kindly refer to as a "crate", but it's a cage) and she seems happy enough in it.  Kelly, of course, is very curious about Ziva's stitches, so it's a good thing we have a cage for her.  So far, no need to be a bucket-head.
• Work has been insanely busy.  I've been working on a Windows 7/hardware refresh project since about September last year, and it all culminated in a huge deployment activity over a period of three weeks in March/April.  About 600 computers, total, distributed over about 40 sites.  Needless to say, this has involved a lot of time and effort, not to mention stress.  It's all but done, now, with just a bit of cleanup in progress.
• I requested a position title change, so now instead of being Infrastructure Support Coordinator, I am a Project Services Engineer.  This has not stopped people from ringing me and pestering me for support.    Hopefully they'll get the message soon.

Anyway... that's the last few months in bullet form.  Not much to see here, move along people, move along...

Now, I'm willing to bet you were fooled into opening this post because you think I bought two new bikes.  Curb your disappointment, because, in fact, it has nothing to do with buying bikes.

You see, I'm not talking about bringing two more bikes into my house. No. I'm talking about..... PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LiveJournal friends, the pictures might not come through.  Visit the blog directly at http://www.maxxxie.net/

Ziva, our little rottie:



and Kelly, our white german shepherd:



They keep themselves amused by playing together:



... and by coveting whichever toy the other dog has, in this case, a stick:



Ziva tends to win most of these contests, despite being much smaller than Kelly. Note the look of triumph on her face:



They're keeping me and MaxBabe very busy at the moment. There's lots of running around, toilet training, cleaning , getting up in the middle of the night, feeding, playing and so on. Our house looks like a bomb hit it and smells.. well, let me just say that two puppies generate a number of puddles daily. They're getting better, but it's probably best I don't throw a dinner party any time soon. A friend of ours suggested that we've been hit by Cyclone Ziva and Cyclone Kelly! So far, I agree!

With that in mind, some of my favourite times this past week have been when they're doing this:





And before anyone says it, yes, I know the valve is in at an angle. Try to look away from the bike and behold the cuteness of a sleeping puppy

I had an awesome ride home last night.  I got off the train at Roma St and decided to wear my yellow tint glasses instead of my sunnies.  I sent MaxBabe a text message letting her know I was on my way.  Off I rode, forgetting to turn on my GPS.  I got to the golf club in Herston and decided the yellow tint glasses were a bad idea (not dark enough, too much fogging) and got off the bike, faffed about with my panniers to find my sunnies, and put them on.  I turned on the GPS and continued my merry way.

As I got to the intersection of Noble St and Newmarket Rd, a couple of cyclists stopped beside me.  One, an American guy, started chatting with me about the weight I was carrying.  I commented about the heat, and mentioned that I'd actually decided to leave my laptop at work to make the ride home a bit easier.  He was riding with a woman who I presume was his wife or girlfriend, and we made small talk until the lights turned green.  They headed off and I wished them a good ride.

Then, something clicked inside me.  Even though I decided I'd take it easy because of the heat, I felt compelled to keep up with them.  So I pushed hard to keep up.  Kedron Brook Rd has a flat section before a climb, and for some reason I always find this flat section a bit challenging.  But last night, I didn't care.  I just wanted to keep up.  So I stayed within a few metres of them.  As they climbed up the hill, cars to the right of us were banked up.  There was a car turning right and in his impatience, some wally had tried to overtake it on the left, and went into the bike lane.  There actually wasn't enough room for him to do this, so he stopped.  The couple were able to squeeze through, but I, with my panniers and wider load, couldn't do it.  I had to slow right down, and prayed the car would turn right soon enough that the car in the bike lane would be able to drive off, and I'd be able to get past without having to stop.  Ever tried to do a hill start on a big hill carrying a heavy load?  Well, let me tell you, I didn't want to find out just how bad that would be.  Anyway, finally the car turned right, the wally got out of the bike lane, and I was able to continue on without stopping.  But by then, the couple were several hundred metres ahead of me, and I resigned myself to the fact that the chase was over.

They turned right at the roundabout, obviously heading for the Kedron Brook bike path.  Most people join this path by taking a direct route to a very narrow path with a tight turn onto the main path.  I dislike this route, so I take a bit of a longer way to get there.  I figured that'd give them another couple hundred metres on me, but if I pushed, I could catch them.  Once on the main path, I started pushing hard.  I couldn't see them, but hey, they couldn't be that far away, right?  After a few minutes, I could see them in the distance.  I cranked it some more and closed the gap.  I finally caught them just past the Webster Rd underpass.  He was doing regular shoulder checks and saw me behind him.  I waved and he greeted me.

We got separated by slowing down for pedestrians, runners, other cyclists, and a few twisty turns.  Every time we got separated, I pushed to catch them.  This went on through to the back of Alderley/Enoggera.  Separate, catch, separate, catch, separate, catch.  He started egging me on.  "COME ON!!!!!!" he'd yell at me whenever they put 100m or so between us.  I chased them hard.  I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.  I passed other cyclists like they were standing still, but I was running out of steam.  Finally, by the time we got to Everton Park, they were a hundred metres or so in front of me, and I just couldn't catch them anymore.  I was a little disappointed, but I was mostly happy about how I'd given it my all.  And hey, keeping up with them, though laden down with panniers and all my crap (bar laptop), was not a bad effort, given they weren't carrying anything at all.

Then, off in the distance, I saw them turn off the path where I normally turn off.  Maybe I can catch them after all!  We joined Griffith Rd in Everton Park/Mitchelton and by then I was only a car length behind them.  We rode through Brookside and got to the lights.  They filtered through to the front, but I stayed back.  He waved at me, encouraging me to join them, but I was pretty baked by then.  I'd started getting cramps in my left calf, and my resolve was fading fast.  I waved a "thanks, but no thanks" gesture.  The lights turned green, and they took off slowly.  The cars passed them and I rejoined them.  We started chatting.  I asked if they were locals, and it turns out they live only a couple suburbs away.  He was clearly a regular rider, while she looked like she was just getting into it.  All through the ride, he'd been encouraging her, sometimes putting his hand on her back and giving her a bit of a push when she needed it.  She proudly announced that yesterday was the second time she'd ridden all the way into town and all the way back.  I gave her encouragement and wished them well, and thanked them for the ride.  We said our goodbyes, and parted ways.

When I got home, my legs were jelly, but I felt fantastic.  MaxBabe exclaimed, "You're home early!  I didn't expect you here so fast!". 

I told her the story, and all she could say was, "I can't believe you did that in this heat.".  That's my girl!!

Facebookers, I note that images and videos don't seem to make it into my cross-posts.  Full URL here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEBIZ2KLsPA

I know I've written before about my odd dreams, but some are so odd they need to be shared.  I've been having trouble sleeping lately, so my (remembered) dreams are few and far between.  Last night I didn't have one long continuous dream, but lots of smaller ones.  I can only remember two of them.

Dream 1:  I dreamt I found a heap of bicycle tail lights in the study.  All of them were smaller than a 5 cent coin, and about as useful.

Dream 2:  I dreamt I was having trouble climbing a hill and was trying to shift into an easier gear.  Unknowingly, the front was on the big chainring, and instead of shifting to bigger cogs on the back I was somehow shifting to smaller ones (making it harder).  At some point I realised this so started shifting to bigger rear cogs, and then the chain started rubbing and finally threw itself off the gears altogether.  I pulled over to figure out WTF had happened, when two guys pulled over to help me.  But instead of helping, they just kept saying stupid shit like "oh, did something happen to your chain?".  In the dream, I pulled out some rubber gloves (I keep them in my saddle bag so my hands don't get dirty doing roadside repairs), but they were covered in grease - both inside and outside the gloves.  So I ended up getting dirty hands.

I'm pretty sure there was another dream, but I can't remember it.  It was probably just as mundane as the two above.  I wonder what my dreams say about me?

I have dreams about cycling.  Last night, I had a dream that I got a puncture.  I wonder what the Freudian interpretation of this might be?  Is a puncture just a puncture?  Or is it some sinister, subconscious trick of the mind?

Don't you just hate it when you're looking for a particular thing, and you know where that particular thing is, but it's just not bloody there?  I am looking for my tape measure.  I know exactly where the tape measure is.  I'm looking there, and the tape measure is nowhere to be seen.  Yet, I know it's there.  ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

The worst part is that I will express this frustration to MaxBabe and she'll go directly to the tape measure, and it will be exactly where I thought it was.

Edit: I found it!  Without MaxBabe's help!  And it was exactly where I thought it was, except it was obscured by some flotsam. 

... it is back.

I have achieved this year's goal of cycling 5000Km.  The ride that put me across the line was a lovely 70Km river loop with a mate and some friends of his. 

So I've updated my blogging software to the latest and greatest version.  I've already encountered one bug which has been worked around until such time an actual bug fix is released.  Feel free to tell me about any other glitches you find!  I'll be turning comments back on, and look forward to the resultant slew of spam.

Well, it's not quite new year's eve yet, but I figure what the hell... here's a wrap-up of 2010.

2011 has been a bit of a mixed bag for me.  At work, it's been one stressful project after the next.  I've managed to deliver each project to spec, on time and on budget, but the stress levels are out of control.  I'm not a project manager, but I've somehow fallen into the role.  In between projects, I've done a lot of business travel, which has been disruptive for work and home life alike.  I think I'll stick at it for another couple years, then take my long service leave and move on.

I met Comedian on one of my commutes and he's turned into a semi-regular commute buddy.  It's been nice to have someone to share the ride with when I need to go into town for work. 

MaxBabe and I celebrated our seventh anniversary in June.  We had a nice sushi dinner, then came home to the news that her brother had died earlier that day.  He was 49.  That whole week is a bit of a blur for me.  Travelling to Gladstone for his funeral, being with the family under such difficult circumstances, trying to give MaxBabe whatever support she needed.  The whole thing was really sad. 

In September, I once again rode in Cycle Queensland.  This was my second CQ, and I felt much stronger than on last year's CQ.  What a difference a year makes.  I attribute the improved performance to the fact that I did much more bicycle commuting this year than last.

I attended my high school 20th reunion this year.  It was nice to see so many nice people again, and to see how so many of them have changed.  I'm told I haven't changed a bit, which I don't believe, but which was nice to hear anyway.

I missed 20FLT (now 220SQN) AIRTC's 50th anniversary celebrations.  Very unhappy about that.  Learnt about it after joining facebook (in aid of the high school reunion).  But also managed to find some of my old Cadet buddies, so it's not all bad.

I got myself the commuter bike I'd been promising myself for the last twelve months.  It's everything I wanted in a commuter, and I'm really happy with it!  I'm looking forward to more commuting in 2011. 

MitchellMutt had pancreatitis earlier this year.  He was so stoic about being unwell.  By the time we realised something was wrong, he was very sick indeed.  He spent a week in hospital in April.  He recovered, and with a change in diet, really improved.  The vets were a little concerned about some abnormal results on an ultrasound.  They saw swelling of his liver but couldn't identify whatever was causing it.  In early December, I travelled down to Sydney for work.  During that week, he was out of sorts and started coughing.  MaxBabe took him to the vet, who suspected pneumonia.  I came home that weekend, and went to see him.  He was happy enough, but obviously unwell.  The vet couldn't keep him over the weekend, so we took him to the local specialists for hospitalisation.  They took one look at his lung x-rays and said it wasn't pneumonia.  Ultrasound confirmed he had growths in his spleen, liver and lungs.  He had cancer, and the prognosis was 3 months at best.  We said our goodbyes and put him to sleep.  He was six weeks shy of his 13th birthday.  I miss him like crazy. 

This was the year that MaxBabe finally realised I'm not like her exes and won't run off with a floozy or steal all her money.  She's finally realised that maybe buying a house with me isn't a bad idea.  We're on track to have a deposit saved, ready to buy late next year. 

The day we had Mitchell put down, MaxBabe's dad had a heart attack.  The twits at Gladstone hospital told him he was fine and sent him home.  Two days later, he ended up being flown down to Brisbane for treatment.  The problem was atrial fibrullation, which the doctors resolved by way of a cardioversion.  However, in the process they discovered that his aortic valve had reached its use-by date (it had been replaced 7 years earlier) and needed to be replaced.  He had surgery two days ago for the AVR and is doing really well.  He's in good spirits and his outlook is good.  MaxBabe is a theatre nurse in a cardiac surgery unit, so she knows and understands every little thing about his condition and his treatment.  She's been on the phone non-stop to his family ever since he's been down here.

So... 2010 has had its share of ups and downs.  I'm in a bit of a downswing at the moment, and I really feel like I could take a bit of a break from everything.  I'm looking forward to 2011, purely so that I can officially see the back of 2010.  Here's hoping for a few more ups!

... is a motorist who assumes a lane is clear instead of actually checking.

Mitchy came home today.  Pets in Peace cremated him and he's in a box with a picture frame attached.  My friend Adam is fixing up a photo to fit in the frame.

It's so nice to have him home, but sad too.  I miss him.

MaxBabe took Mitch to the vet on Friday morning.  He'd been out of sorts for a couple days and was starting to cough.  The vet gave him fluids and antibiotics, which seemed to help.  They did an X-ray on Saturday and found something in his lungs.  The vet felt it might've been pneumonia.  She recommended we move Mitch to the local veterinary specialist, as the vets are not open on Sundays and therefore couldn't keep him overnight.  So we took Mitch to the specialists Saturday afternoon.  The specialist took a look at the X-rays and basically said it looked more like cancer than pneumonia.  She recommended an ultrasound to see if there were any other abnormalities.

The ultrasonographer found a large growth on his spleen, and growths in his liver and lungs.  The vet called and basically said that it was cancer.  If it was a treatable cancer, the outlook would be 3-6 months.  Otherwise, it would be much shorter.

We spent the night weighing up the options.  We decided that we did not want him to go through a prolonged decline.  If possible, we'd bring Mitch home so he could be in familiar surroundings.  Then, in a couple days time, take him to the vet to be put to sleep.

With that in mind, we went to visit Mitch yesterday morning.  Even after 2 days of round-the-clock care, it was clear he was struggling to breathe.  There was no way we could bring him home.  We decided that it would be best for him to put him to sleep straight away.  I did not want for him to struggle to breathe any longer.  The vet confirmed he would never get better, only worse, so that was that.

We spent about an hour with him, cuddling him and giving him lots of pats.  When it was time, we called the vet in.  My puppy died in my arms.

He was 12 years and 10 months old.

Mitchell fell sick on Wednesday.  Long story short, it's cancer.  The prognosis is not good.  Assuming it's treatable, he'll have 3-6 months at best.  MaxBabe and I decided last night it would be best to put him to sleep ASAP.

MaxBabe received a call this morning to tell her that her father's had a cardiac event and is being sent down to Brisbane.

Could today get any worse?

Actually, not just one new win, but heaps!  Check out their new site - Wins!  )" alt=")" class="middle" width="15" height="15" />

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So - I decided it was time to replace the flat on the Cannondale. This flat mysteriously appeared a week or so ago. Anyway, I removed the back wheel, pulled the tyre off with the help of only one tyre lever (yay me!), and set about picking out glass and other miscellany from the tyre. I inflated the tube but couldn't find the site of the puncture. So I let it sit, and sure enough it was deflated within half an hour or so. OK, so the tube is definitely punctured somewhere. I reinflated it and finally found the site of the puncture. I tracked it back to a chunk of glass in the tyre. Satisfied that all was well, I decided to install a new tube and get the wheel back onto the bike.

I replaced the tube, and set about getting the Gatorskin back on the rim. Sweet merciful crap, it's a bastard to get back on. I used my levers and my Koolstop tyre jack, and finally got the bloody thing back on. I squeezed the tyre all round, manipulating it to make sure the tube was definitely inside its borders and not jammed between it and the rim. Satisfied, I half-inflated the tube. I pushed, I prodded, I checked to make sure there was no pinching. All good. I inflated to full pressure. No exploding, no hissing, everything was great.

I spent the next HOUR AND A HALF trying to get the back wheel back into the flipping dropouts. I've never been good at this, but even for me, this is some kind of record. Seriously, an hour and a half. I swore. I cursed. I whinged. I jammed my fingers in the derailleur. I almost cried. But I persisted, and finally the axle was in the dropout, the chain was installed, and all was good. I tested the gears. They actually changed up and down as they're supposed to! Even better!

Then I turned the wheel and noticed an oddity. There seemed to be something of a flat spot on the tyre. I turned it some more. Yes, definitely something not right there. The tyre appeared mis-shapen. I'm sure it wasn't like that before, so it was probably something I did during all the fracking about with the tyre. Sigh. So I left the wheel in place, and deflated the tyre. I squeezed, I prodded, I inspected to make sure the tube wasn't bulging anywhere. I reinflated. It got to 20 PSI, then all the air came flying out of the tube, and that was it.

I'm assuming it's a pinch flat, but like hell I'm going to try to fix it right now. The bike, the tyre, the tube, the dropouts, the axle, the derailleur and everything else I've touched today can all go and get fucked.

Our schools are populated by illiterate, inconsiderate, disrespectful baboons.

My mailbox has a sign on it:  "NO JUNK MAIL".  It's an unambiguous sign.  I've just come back from pulling my dog away from a kid, his siblings and his mother, who felt it was a good idea to come up to the mailbox and stuff it full of advertising material for the local school.

Are you people dumb?  Or just arses?  Is it too much to ask that you teach your children that unsolicited advertising material does, in fact, qualify as junk mail?  And that said junk mail shouldn't be put into a mailbox that is clearly labelled as NO JUNK MAIL?

If it weren't for the fence separating you, my dog would've enjoyed snacking on your kid, lady.  Maybe I should've opened the gate and let him have at it, eh?

Yesterday, I took the new bike out for a ride to work (as opposed to riding into town, which is what I did last week). This involves riding to town, catching the train to Oxley, then riding from Oxley to work.

As much as a pleasure the bike is to actually ride, walking it anywhere when loaded is a real nuisance. I'm so accustomed to the Cannondale, being able to just lift the thing and basically manhandle it anywhere I want it to go. Not so with the Specialized and its panniers. No. The back end is like a giant lump of lead. To get into the train station, I had to take it up four small steps. HARDEST TASK EVAH. I did find the wheelchair ramp on the return trip, but still. So, I got up to the platform and realised I'd have to lift the bloody thing onto the train. Not to be defeated, I found the wheelchair access, a part of the platform that's raised so it's level with the train doors. Yay!

I got onto the train only to discover it was full of people, and I had to stand. I tried to fold down one of those retractable seats, but it wouldn't budge. One of the other passengers had a crack and it and even he couldn't get it to move. Sigh. A few stops later, people got off the train, and I was able to sit down on a seat near the doors. As we approached my station, I mentally prepared myself for the task ahead. I visualised successfully maneouvering the bike backwards and sideways so that I could quickly push it through the doors and onto the platform.

It didn't happen. The train lurched to a stop, and I got up. I reversed the bike as I always do, and turned it around as I was doing so. The weight of the panniers made the bike fall onto me, somehow jamming both my legs between the front wheel and the chainring. I was absolutely pinned. I couldn't move. To my horror, the doors started to close. But the other passengers came to my rescue. One of them jumped out of the train and waved at the conductor to tell him someone was still getting out. Two others pulled the bike off me. I thanked them and got off the train. Honestly, I couldn't get out of there fast enough. It was more embarassing than a clipstack at the start of a mass riding event.

Fuelled by my embarassment, I raced for the lifts. Once again, I had to turn the bike around to get it into the lifts. I found myself thinking if I'd solved one problem (carrying weight) and replaced it with another (lack of mobility). But I persevered and finally got into the lifts and headed down to the subway.

Once I was back on the bike, all was good, and I rode to work without event (I'm pleased that riding through the Glass Gauntlet did not result in a puncture. That would've really topped off a bad morning). Except for a nagging pain in my left knee. It turns out the frame or handlebars or something had whacked me really good on the knee. There's a lump there the size and shape of a golf ball. And it's hard, too. This morning, the bruising has settled down somewhat. Also, on my right calf, I have managed to remove five big chunks of skin. Funnily enough, the pattern is that of the chainring. There's grease trapped in the wound too. I tried to scrub it out, but it just won't budge. Knowing my luck, I'm going to end up with a permanent gumby mark on my leg. Perhaps I should just admit my gumbiness and get it tattooed there.

With all of that in mind, I was somewhat less than enthusiastic about riding home. I found myself researching train station accessibility. Did you know, only Roma St and Central Station have raised platforms for wheelchair access? The rest of them rely on the conductor getting out with a ramp and pushing people in. In fairness, QR have done a lot of work to help mobility-challenged people, but there's still a bit to be done. Oxley station is, fortunately, great. My alternative station (the one I use when I'm so tired, I just can't face the massive 9Km ride to Oxley) has NO facilities for people with disabilities. No ramps, no lifts, no disabled toilets. Nothing. So, Oxley's looking better by the minute!

Using Oxley station also means my return route takes me on the road where I was almost taken out a few months ago. I'm *still* scared of riding on that road. But I told myself to suck it up and stop being a princess, and off I went. One of the great things about having the panniers now is that I can actually see properly behind me. So imagine my joy when I could fully turn around to assess traffic behind me. It was one of those joyous moments that I cannot really describe. I actually grinned. GRINNED. I waited for the cars to pass, then turned right and off I went. The rest of the ride was very pleasant.

I decided to use the wheelchair section of the platform at Oxley and got myself into a carriage that had a bit more room. At Toowong, the conductor had to kick me out to make room for actual wheelchair users, so I moved down to another carriage and ended up having to stand the rest of the way. I managed to wedge the bike into a corner, but it was still a bit of a nuisance to other passengers. At Roma St, I decided against trying to turn the bike around and instead reversed it out the doors. I was soooooooooo happy to be off the train.

The ride home was great. The Apex 32-tooth cog made a mockery of the big hills. I struggled a little on Kedron Brook Rd hill, but made it up only puffing a little bit. Happy days!

I finally made it home at around 1830. I was very happy to finally be home and was greeted by an overjoyed pooch. Isn't it funny how even the crappiest of days can be made good by a happy dog?

I'm really happy with the new commuter bike. Well-fitting bike plus panniers = riding pleasure. I loooooooove being able to turn around and really see what's behind me. I love that I can carry a heavy weight and not suffer back pain and bruised shoulders from backpack straps. Once I figure out how to deal with the logistics of a heavy bike, my commuting life will be perfect! And if I just can't resolve the logistical problem, clearly I'll have to find a job where I don't need to mix-mode commute!

It's been a while since I've posted here.  There's actually been heaps going on in my life, but I'm suffering a lack of blog-writing motivation at the moment.

You'll recall that a month or so ago, I approached Epic Cycles about a new commuter bike.  See, The Beast is great for recreational riding, but not so good at carrying things.  Specifically, carrying, well, anything.  For the last twelve months or so, I've been riding my bike to work, carrying my laptop and other necessities in a backpack.  It's been doable, but not as pleasant as it could be.

Long story short, Epic recommended a bike, and I test rode it.  The fit was awful.  I was very disappointed, but Emma, the cute chick at Epic, asked me to give her the Cannondale's measurements, and she'd find something to match.  I sent her the measurements and basically heard nothing back.  A week passed, another passed, and I sent an email asking what was going on.  The owner, John, replied, and let me know Emma would be in touch the next day.  She didn't call.  A few days later, I called and she told me she hadn't forgotten about me, that she was waiting on calls back from suppliers etc.  I've heard this song before and I felt it was a stalling tactic.  Another week or so passed, and I sent a cranky email asking WTF was going on.  John got back to me and basically took over from that point.  He suggested I bring the 'Dale in so he could measure it and see if he could get the Specialized to fit me.

So I went in last Saturday with the Cannondale, and John spent several hours with me.  He got the Specialized to a ballpark fit, then sent me off for a test ride.  Wow, what a difference a proper fit makes.  I actually enjoyed riding it.  I took it back, he tweaked it, sent me off again.  We did this for most of the afternoon.  Tweak, ride, tweak, ride.  Poor MaxBabe had given me a lift there and was waiting in the car.  I had no idea we'd be so long and she was understandably cranky.  So I told John I'd run out of time, and asked if I could return the next day to continue.  He was OK with that, so the next day I returned (minus MaxBabe).

He spent literally the entire day with me.  I was there from opening until after close.  He put the bike on a trainer and measured, tweaked, adjusted.  He replaced the stem.  He raised the saddle.  He adjusted this, that and the other.  Every time he tweaked it, the bike felt better.  On the final test ride, the bike was so well-adjusted that it felt like a completely different bike.  I felt like I could ride super-aggressively.  It was nimble, it was quick, it was agile.  It was all of the things it had not been on the very first test ride.  I was sold.

Then we fitted the bike out with a rack and panniers.  I'd already decided I wanted a Topeak rack.  The Topeak racks have a slot in the middle that can take Topeak's bags that have a proprietary locking mechanism.  They can also take regular panniers etc, so it makes them a bit more versatile than other racks.  With that decided, the next question was which pannier to buy.  I was tossing up between the Ortlieb Back Roller Classic panniers, and a few other Ortlieb and Arkel models.  Each has its merits.  Ultimately, we figured the only way to decide was to take my regular carrying load and to try to fit it into a pannier.  John had been very enthusiastic about the Ortlieb Back Packer and Sport Packer models.  He liked that they have a fliptop lid and a drawstring.  For me, the super-important thing was that the pannier had to be absolutely waterproof.

I'd decided that I wanted to be able to put my regular backpack straight into the pannier.  The reason for this was that I wanted all my stuff to stay organised, and I didn't want to have to move things from one bag to another depending on whether I was riding or driving to work.  So the test was whether the backpack would fit into the Back Packer.  It didn't.  Then we tried the Back Roller Classic.  It went straight in.

So I decided on the Ortlieb Back Roller Classic panniers.  I didn't end up looking at the Arkels, despite having been very enthusiastic about them originally.  The Ortliebs are waterproof and can carry all my crap.  What more could a girl want?  Actually, there's a couple things I wish the Back Rollers did have.  One:  A loop to attach a blinky.  What is it with bicycle bag manufacturers who omit this obvious safety device?  Also, I do miss having a pocket here or there to organise things in the pannier.  I'd like somewhere to stash things I need to get to quickly - eg my railway pass, my wallet etc.  There is a very small pocket inside, but it's difficult to get to when the pannier is full.  That said, I'm 99% happy with the choice.  If it really turns into a huge problem, I might get an Arkel or a different Ortlieb and just mix and match.

John installed it all, I paid him, and off I went.  Despite the rocky start with Epic, I really cannot say enough good things about their service.  They've always looked after me, long before I bought the bike from them.  John was super-helpful last weekend, and really made sure I was happy with the bike and various bits and pieces.  Actually, the service was phenomenal.  If you're in Brisbane and ever have a need for a new bike or just bike parts or clothes or accessories or whatever.. go see Epic.

The following Tuesday, I had business in town and it was the perfect test of the new bike.  I met up with my sometime-commute-buddy, Steve, and we rode in together.  The panniers were fully loaded - backpack full of my regular stuff in one pannier, and toiletries, change of clothes, shoes and other miscellany in the other pannier.  It all fit perfectly without having to be inventive, and I loved not having to carry all of that crap jammed into a backpack on my back!

The Apex groupset is just grand.  The 32-tooth cog at the back really made a mockery of the hills on my commute.  Even with the extra load of the (somewhat) heavier bike, the rack and the fully loaded panniers.  It was actually easier than doing those same hills on my Cannondale, unloaded.  Awesome!

The next day, I rode back with all of that stuff, plus two huge printed binders.  It was a much tougher ride due to the weight of the binders, but even then, the hills didn't defeat me.  I'm just stoked with the way things have turned out.

So this is the part of the post where I put a bunch of pictures that will make bike enthusiasts drool, and regular people roll their eyes:

Behold the Apex 32-tooth goodness!!  Behold also the crud that is already on the chain!

Marvel at the Macgyver magnificence!  Behold the ingenuity of finding somewhere, anywhere, to mount a mini-pump!

One of the Ortliebs attached:

Rear view.  Gee, I hope there are enough lights on the back of the bike.  My greatest fear is getting rear-ended by a tired, inattentive driver.

So there you have it!  Max has a new bike!

... please come back some other.... actually, no, don't come back at all.

I've received a heap of comment spam lately.  Until it all dies down, I'm turning the comments feature off.

Peoples biking mishaps, told through the medium of MS Paint!

I was grocery shopping with MaxBabe today, when I heard a man behind me exclaim, "Hey!  Ziplock baggies!!!!".  He sounded absolutely delighted.  The woman beside him, presumably his other half, exclaimed in an equally happy tone, "And they're on special!!!!!!!!!!!"

Those two people managed to take a mundane event and extract a moment of happiness from it.

The world needs more of that.

I've been riding to work ever since November of last year.  When I say "ever since", I don't mean every day.  But during the warmer months, 2 or 3 times a week, and during winter much less (I'm a weenie ).  I want to increase this to 4 times a week during spring/summer and 2 or more times a week during the colder months.

You'll recall that some time ago I got myself a backpack for cycling and also got a high-vis waterproof cover for said backpack.  That's served me well, overall, but I've found that if I carry anything more than the absolute bare essentials, I wind up with unhappy shoulders and a sore back.  Also, the backpack obstructs my view of what's behind me.  My recent encounter with a dimwit truck driver (the one who tried to pass me on the right as I was turning right) just highlighted how much more aware I need to be of what's behind me.

Since last year, I've been toying with getting a dedicated commuter bike.  To this end, I sent the following email to Epic Cycles:

I have a Cannondale Synapse 4 Feminine Carbon bike which suits most of my needs.  I bought it when my only need was around recreational riding.  It fits me perfectly (51 cm).

Since then, I've started riding to work semi-regularly.  I currently ride to work 2-3 times a week (53Km round trip).  I carry a backpack because the Synapse cannot take panniers.  The backpack is heavy and limits my view of what's behind me.  With heavier loads, it leads to back and shoulder pain.  I'm looking for a bike for my commuting needs that is still quick, nimble, light etc but can deal with my new requirements.

Due to my good experiences with the Synapse, I have a brand preference for Cannondale.  The Quick range of bikes look interesting since they have carbon bikes in the range, but I can't tell if the carbon models have pannier mounts.  I asked Cannondale themselves and their answer wasn't especially clear.  Do you know?

I know I might be asking the impossible with this list of minimum requirements, but perhaps there's something out there that can meet my needs.  Do you have any suggestions?

• WSD (not particularly flexible on this requirement, I've been burnt by poorly-fitting bikes) - have had good experiences with Cannondale Synapse Feminine geometry
• Pannier mounts
• Lightweight (carbon would be nice, since I've been spoilt by the Synapse; otherwise light alloy)
• If flatbar - Shimano groupset, prefer 105 minimum
• If dropbar - SRAM double-tap (Rival/Force) shifters, everything else in groupset negotiable
• Prefer triple with large cogs at rear to deal with climbing with additional weight of heavier bike, pannier and load; will consider compact double if triple is not available
• Lightweight fenders/mudguards
• Pannier - needs to be able to carry 15" laptop, misc gear such as multi-tool kit, spare tube, levers etc as well as wet weather gear as a minimum, with occasional larger loads such as work clothes, lunch etc

It took them a little while to get back to me (which I fully expected, given they're a busy bike shop), but they gave me a very considered response, which boiled down to a recommendation for the Specialized Dolce Elite bike.  This is actually a bike I'd put high on the shortlist whilst doing my own research.  And, good news, they have a 51cm in stock!

So I went there yesterday for a test ride.  I fully expected I'd walk out of there with a new bike.  It didn't happen.

They put me on the bike and did an eyeball fit (nobody does a full fit for a test ride).   It felt a little small to me.  I felt like I was leaning too far forward, almost beyond the headstem.  But I figured, what the hell, of course it's going to feel different to the Cannondale, just give it a try and see how you go.  I'd barely got 100m down the road when I just knew it was all wrong for me.  I felt like I was riding a clown bike.  I felt completely scrunched up.  Pedalling was exhausting.  After five minutes on the bike, all I wanted was to just get off.

When I got back to the shop, I was so shagged from the effort, I needed to sit down.  I couldn't see straight.  I was almost ready to puke.  You know that feeling you get when you push yourself way too hard and you feel nauseated from it?  I was there.  Not a good place to be when the sales person is trying to extract from you exactly what was wrong with the bike!

Now, some bike shops would've a) tried to sell it to me anyway, or b) found something, anything, in stock to sell me.  Not Epic.  They told me to go home and measure up the Cannondale's fit and to send it all to them.  And they'll go find a bike that has those same measurements.  How awesome is that?

I'm hoping they can find something nice to suit my needs.  Spec-wise, the Dolce Elite really is a perfect match for my needs.  When I lifted it, it was super-light, something I hadn't expected from an alloy bike.  So it's definitely lightweight.  And the Apex groupset with 11-32 cassette is exactly what I need for climbing hills with a load on the back.  So, we'll see what Epic comes up with.  Hopefully Tuesday/Wednesday of next week, they'll have some suggestions. 

So CQ2010 has been and gone.  I really enjoyed this year's CQ, despite the dodgy weather and dodgy road surfaces.  I posted updates to Facebook via my iPhone, but didn't keep any written notes/diary like I did last year.  So, much of the following will be in bullet point form.

BQ had arranged to pick up my bike (packed, in a cardboard bike box) from my house and transport it Yeppoon a few days before the event itself.  I was confident I could loosen the headstem, turn the handlebars, remove the pedals and remove the seatpost from the frame, and pack it all up for transport.  I've removed pedals before and it's straight-forward.  The seatpost I figured would also be straight-forward.  I thought the only challenge would be dealing with the headset.  It turned out the pedals had been fitted by a goliath with Popeye-strength arms.  I couldn't undo the bloody things, try as I might!  I ended up having to take the bike to the LBS (the one around the corner that I swore I'd never deal with again after they screwed up installation of brake pads).  To their credit, they dealt with it straight away - dismantled it per my instructions, wrapped it all in bubble wrap, zip-tied everything together so it wouldn't move around in the box, and packed it all up.  And they only charged me $20 for it!  So, My Bike Shop, all is forgiven.  Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou.  You did a great job!

Mum and I drove up to Bundaberg the Thursday before CQ.  We stayed at a motel in Bundy, then on Friday parked our car at the Bundy car storage place (set aside just for us CQ nuts).  From there, we took a bus from Bundy to Yeppoon.  I'd forgotten that I get motion sickness travelling in buses, so it wasn't the most pleasant of trips.  Also, I was stuck beside a stinky man who just wouldn't shut up.  Oh.  My.  God.  Why do complete strangers feel the need to babble on about bullshit?  I really wanted to tell him to STFU, but I was too busy trying not to puke.  It was only meant to be around 1 hour long, but because of road closures (due to roadworks/car crashes/bushfire smoke), we were turned back at the halfway mark and had to take another route.  It added hours to the trip.  Urgh.

Finally, we got to Yeppoon, where we picked up our boxed bikes.  We were meant to meet some of our CQ buddies for dinner, but I was in such a shit mood by the time we got to Yeppoon that I told mum to go without me.  I ended up assembling my bike in the semi-dark.  I got it to a point where it resembled a bicycle, then locked it to a post.  I figured I'd get mum or Epic Cycles to have a look at it the next day to make sure it wasn't going to self-destruct.

Day 1 - Yeppoon to Rockhampton, 69Km

The next day, mum tightened and adjusted all the bits that needed tightening and adjusting, then we packed up and rode to the start site.  Sooooo many cyclists.  The start site entertainment was great, and the atmosphere was buoyant.  We met up with our CQ buddies (who all gave me good-natured shit about not joining them for dinner the night before), and finally we headed off.  I'd never been to Yeppoon before, and was impressed by the seaside views and cruisy atmosphere.  Perhaps I will return for a holiday one day.  The ride itself was pretty cruisy, not too short, not too long, and not too challenging.  The road surface was very rough, however, and made the ride feel a lot longer.

Day 2 - Rockhampton to Mt Morgan, 56Km

It rained all day.  I was very happy I'd brought my Ground Effect rain gear (the Flash Gordon and Helter Skelters) and Sugoi bootees.  While everyone around me was saturated, I was warm and dry (apart from a little sweat/condensation).  It was the first time I'd used my rain gear in day-long rain.  I'm very pleased with the way it performed.  The thing I will remember most about this day, however, was the climb up to Mt Morgan.  The "Razorback" is an 18% climb.  I took one look at it and knew there was no way I'd make it.  I walked, along with pretty much everybody else.  I heard later that of the 1000+ cyclists on the ride, 25 made it up.

Day 3 - Mt Morgan to Biloela, 105Km 0Km

It rained all through the night.  I learned later that some campers were flooded and were evacuated to the local town hall at 0200.

At around 0400, the CQ organisers were advised by the local coppers that the roads were closed to cyclists.  They were over 1m under water!  So the ride to Biloela was called off. 

The organisers were left with the challenge of transporting 1000+ people, and their bikes, to Biloela.  This is no easy feat at the best of times, but an unplanned journey?  The organisers did a super-awesome job of arranging buses for us as well as trucks to transport our bikes.  The downside of this is that we had to throw all the bikes into trucks, and in the process, my bike's bar tape was destroyed, and a chunk of paint was taken off the left fork.  It's only cosmetic damage, but I'm annoyed about it.

20-odd buses were arranged at short notice to transport us all to Bilo.  Oh, no.  Another bus trip.  It ended up being only an hour or so, but felt like forever.  By the time we got there, my "tense everything so you don't puke" muscles were just about ready to give up.  The moment that bus stopped, I launched myself out of my seat and tore out of there as fast as I could.  I thankfully did not yack.

We spent all day waiting for the bikes to arrive.  Mine finally arrived at 2130.  I've never been so happy to see my bike!

Day 4 - Biloela to Monto, 95Km

All I really remember about this day is that there was shitloads of climbing.  But I did it all and I'm really happy about that.  I met one of the guys from the BNA forum.  He later described me as a climbing machine!  I'm not so sure about that, but I'll take the compliment anyway

Day 5 - Rest day, 0Km

I really didn't feel like I needed a rest.  It seemed undeserved and unwarranted, given we'd missed the 105Km ride from two days before.  Nevertheless, I took advantage of it.  My CQ buddies had arranged to participate in barefoot bowling at the local lawn bowls club.  I'd always thought of lawn bowls as kind of boring and was hoping this experience would change my opinion of it.  It did not.  I wish now that I'd gone for a ride somewhere instead, but hey, I gave it a shot and I can say that I tried something new.

By this time, the weather had finally cleared up, however overnight temperatures started to fall into "uncomfortably cold" territory.  My sleeping bag did a great job of keeping me toasty, however

Day 6 - Monto to Eidsvold, 65Km

By this time, all the days had melded into one.  I don't remember much about this day, except that I described it on my FB page as an "easy ride".

Day 7 - Eidsvold to Mt Perry, 80Km

Woke up to find it had been raining again.  I was undecided about wearing my rain gear.  I wondered if wearing rain gear would appease the rain gods, or if it would serve only to anger them.  I decided to go without rain gear.  It was the right decision to make, as the rain cleared up, although it was overcast most of the day.  A fair bit of climging today.  Not long after we arrived, the rain came back.  Very glad that we got Easy Campese tents and didn't have to set up in the rain!

Mt Perry is a small place, the proverbial one-horse town.  It has the obligatory pub, a corner store, a motel and not much else that I could see.  The camp site was directly across the road from the pub, so the cyclists naturally flocked to the watering hole.  I learned later that CQ riders drank the pub dry!

Day 8 - Mt Perry to Gin Gin, 52Km

The route wasn't open to cyclists until 1030, mostly because there is only one road out of Mt Perry to Gin Gin, and the organisers wanted to get all the trucks etc through before sending us on our way.  Happily, there was entertainment in the form of the Mt Perry annual dump truck pull contest.  I swear I'm not making this up.  They bring in an enormous mining truck, and groups of people team up and try to pull it 100 metres or so using a rope.

Unfortunately, I didn't get any photos of people actually pulling the truck.  But you get the gist, right?

I don't remember a great deal about the ride itself, except that dealing with the heat was a challenge.  I ended up taking a bottle of powerade with me as well as the 2 litres of water I normally carry.  This was a good move, and by the first rest stop, I'd drunk all three bottles.  A quick refill, and I was on my way.

I ended up meeting a woman called Janice (or maybe Jeanette, or Janine) on the way.  I recognised her as the woman I'd sat behind during the first leg of day 1.  She was good to ride with, calling out hazards etc.  I told her I really liked riding with her, and wished her a good ride.  She was riding a Trek 7.6FX, a nice bike I'd considered when shopping for a new bike last year.

This was the last night of CQ.  The entertainment on this night was actually really good.  Two guys, one of whom was like a one-man band, playing a flute, drums, cello, saxophone and god knows what else, while his mate played the guitar and sang.  They were great.  I ended up staying up really late chatting with Tracie, one of my CQ buddies.  Didn't get to bed until 2330!  But this meant that I actually slept until 0330 or so (every other night, I'd woken at around 0130 and tossed and turned until 0500), so I was pretty pleased about that.  Bloody cold night though, tracky dacks and jumper weather!

Day 9 - Gin Gin to Bundaberg, 56Km

I met a couple more BNA guys today, nice guys.  Actually, pretty much everybody on the ride was friendly.  That's one thing I really enjoy about CQ, the atmosphere is just so nice and relaxed and happy.

I found this day kind of tough due to headwinds.  In the last stretch into Bundaberg itself, I found myself on my own through most of the headwinds.  I pushed things a little hard and hurt my left knee.  Although my left foot was still attached to the pedal, I decided not to put any more stress on the knee.  The last 10Km or so was done one-legged, as I used only my right leg to turn the cranks.

I really wanted to cross the finish line with my mum, but I'd dropped her long before, and she was nowhere to be seen.  I ended up waiting for her at the finish line, and she was about 10 minutes behind.  Not too bad.  I cheered her through the finish line and we were DONE!!!

Overall, I felt much better on this CQ than last year's.  Last year's CQ was described as the flattest ever, whilst this year's contained a great deal of climbing.  In spite of the more difficult terrain, I found it much easier.  I think my fitness has improved, not to mention my leg strength.  Last year, mum waited at the top of every hill for me.  This year, our roles were reversed.  I waited for her when I could.  But more often than not, I dropped her at the first hill and didn't see her again until the next rest stop.

I was delighted to finally make it to the motel at Bundy.  Eating junk food out of the minibar while lying in a freshly-made queen size bed has never felt so good!  Not to mention having a looooooooooooooooooooong, hot shower.  Oh yeh. 

Anyway, so that's the CQ wrap-up.  Overall, I had a great holiday.  I'm really looking forward to next year's CQ - Goondiwindi to Brisbane!!!

I'll be leaving in a few short hours.  Nine days of cycling bliss, with not a care in the world.  Yeeha!  Until my return, enjoy this:

CQ 2010 is just around the corner, and I am nowhere near ready!!!

Oh, my legs can probably do the job.  I can probably struggle up these tough climbs:

I can probably cope with all of that (with perhaps some walking).

The bit that's doing my head in right now is packing.  I've got a list, I've checked it twice, and I'm still not convinced I'm not going to leave behind some essential piece of equipment or clothing.  Worse, this time round I need to dismantle my bike and pack it in a box for transport.  So now I'm freaking out about pulling it apart and putting it back together without breaking it, scratching it, leaving parts behind or forgetting to bring the right tools to put it back together.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you're anything like me, you're still scratching your head trying to figure it out.  Do we have a government yet?  Have things been sorted out one way or the other?  Well, I found a web page that tells you all you need to know in answer to those two important questions:  http://doesaustraliahaveagovernmentyet.com/

From news.com.au:

A COUPLE'S pet cat was dumped in a garbage can by a respectable-looking, middle-aged woman, shocking footage shows.

The bespectacled, grey-haired woman, who appears to be in her 50s, was filmed about 8pm local time on Saturday walking along Stephanie and Darryl Mann’s street in Coventry, western England.

In the recording, the woman spots the Manns' four-year-old rescue cat Lola and strokes it tenderly before suddenly grabbing her by the scruff of the neck and calmly dumping her in a rubbish bin before closing the lid and walking away.

The couple found Lola some 15 hours later when they heard the cat meowing in the bin.

Lola has since recovered from the ordeal.

The couple's home security system captured the footage of the animal cruelty, and they posted it online in the hope that someone would recognize the woman.

Read more: http://www.news.com.au/world/british-woman-filmed-dumping-cat-in-rubbish-bin/story-e6frfkyi-1225909166296#ixzz0xTC7XvXT

I am, of course, referring to the Election.

This time round, I find myself in a quandary.  I've been a life-long Labor voter.  I always believed they could run this country to an acceptable level, whilst still considering me to be a human being with (mostly) equal rights.

I recall when Kevin Rudd was ousted from the top job, and Julia Gillard slotted in.  Oh, how Australia's feminists crowed about how wonderful it was to finally have a woman Prime Minister.  I kept my mouth shut, for the most part, because the truth is that I'd rather have a smart man in power than a dumb woman.  Also, I'd rather see a woman voted in on her own merits, than slotted in because some boy got kicked out.  Now, I don't know if Gillard really is dumb, but she's given me nothing, nothing, to make me think otherwise.  I haven't kept up with her career aside from recent developments, but I think I have a sufficiently large sample of her behaviour now to draw some conclusions.  This chick doesn't have a spine.  Her opiniona and attitudes change with whichever way the political winds happen to blow.  I know this is largely true of most other politicians, but most other politicians manage to hide it.  I'm now being OVERTLY hoodwinked by spineless politicking.

She strikes me as a slimy, used-car salesman.  She'll say whatever she thinks she needs to say to make the sale.  For me, the "Moving forward" campaign was the writing on the wall.  She took an already-overused corporate buzzphrase and foisted it on the people.  If I never hear that phrase again, it'll be too soon.  What irritates me most about it is that it is completely unimaginative.  The election campaign is when politicians are supposed to put their best foot forward.  They're supposed to give us their absolute best performance.  We're supposed to see them at their peak.  Gillard, of all the things you could've run with, this was the best you could come up with??????? What were the other slogan contenders?  "We're progressing... slowly"?  "At least we're not going backwards"?  "Labor.. we're better than.. umm.. the other guys."?  Her campaign slogan is the best of a bad lot!

But the nail in the coffin was when Gillard, the spineless bint, declared that Labor would never change the definition of marriage to include same-sex couples.  She actually said:

Gillard told the newspaper she appreciated Australia’s “heritage as a Christian country”, adding that “the Marriage Act has a special status in our culture” as a heterosexuals-only institution.

(http://www.starobserver.com.au/news/2010/08/20/gillard-you-will-never-marry-under-me/29731)

Fuck you, Gillard.  You're an unmarried woman, technically living in sin with some man, and you have the audacity to bang on about Christian values?  FUCK YOU.  FUCK YOU HARD.  You've lost my vote, you silly cow.

Never mind the fact that our only openly lesbian representative, Penny Wong, has herself toed the Party line on gay marriage.  She's against it!  WHAT.  THE.  FUCK.  If ever there was an example of party politics fucking over the people, it's this.

There's no way I'm voting the Libs/Nats/conservatives.

This time round, I'm voting for the Greens.  It might be true they don't know how to run a country, but hey, the first ever PM probably didn't know how to do that either.  But I'm pretty sure there's a few fast learners in that group of people.  They'll figure it out.  Meanwhile, they'll probably change the definition of marriage, and this country's government can finally pull its head out of the sand.

Meanwhile, here's some Gillard pics that were sent to me a while back.  Enjoy!

I've spent a bit of time lately listening to music that I'd all but forgotten about.  You see, iTunes is just fine for most things, but its "shuffle" function isn't too special.  There's absolutely no randomness to it.  Once it's decided that C follows B, and that B follows A, no amount of "shuffle" will change its mind.  As far as it's concerned, A-B-C is it.  I miss how Winamp would actually change the playlist if you told it to shuffle.

Anyway, iTunes will let you order music by title, genre, artist, and by number of times played.  So I've unshuffled, and told it to play the least played stuff in my library.  Some of the least-played stuff is so for a reason.  I mean, some of it, honestly, is crap.  Atomic Kitten's "Whole Again"?  URGH!  Yet it stays in my library.  Why?  I have no idea.  I console myself by telling myself that my musical tastes are ecclectic, and that I should be proud that I don't conform to norms.  I support this argument by digging out "Adagio For Strings" (AKA that song from Platoon), "Flower Duet" (yes, the British Airways ad), "Erin Shore", "O Fortuna", "Lose Yourself", "Trickle Trickle", "Someone To Watch Over Me" and "Africa Bamba", as if the presence of these not-so-poppy pieces excuses some of the dreck that manages to stay in my song collection.

And lo, in delving through the lesser-played songs, I find songs that I bought recently but which iTunes' shithouse shuffle has yet to find.  One of my current favourites is Vanessa Amorosi's "This Is Who I Am".  Love your work, Vanessa.

This Is Who I Am

I spend my life
Trying to do things right
But all I do is fall to my face, with my hands and my hips so many times
But then I learned
After being burnt
To get back up, push straight on, stop the tears, people move on-ooon

Refrain:
Well it's alright to be myself
Now I've learned to stand
Well it’s okay to be just who I am
I've spent years really hatin' me
Longing to be friends
Now I hope that you can understand
This is who I am

Now when life gets tough
I'm quick to hurry up
I run all day, I run through the night, I'll break down walls, I'll hit up high
I don't care if I'm fat,
Or if you think my clothes are bad
Yet I can go to sleep at night, I'm a good person and I'll get by-yyy

Refrain:
Well it's alright to be myself
Now I've learned to stand
Well it’s okay to be just who I am
I've spent years really hatin' me
Longing to be friends
Now I hope that you can understand
This is who I am

I need someone someone someone someone like me
You deserve deserve,deserve to have me
Cause our world keeps spinning
And you don't try to turn it

Refrain:
Well it's alright to be myself
Now I've learned to stand
Well it’s okay to be just who I am
I've spent years really hatin' me
Longing to be friends
Now I hope that you can understand
This is who I am

Yeaaaaaaaaaaah, yeaah yeah
This is who I am
Ooh, take a breather this is who I a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-am

I'm really getting into xkcd.com's humour.  Love it!  Here's one from the archives:

)" alt=")" class="middle" width="15" height="15" /> )" alt=")" class="middle" width="15" height="15" /> )" alt=")" class="middle" width="15" height="15" /> )" alt=")" class="middle" width="15" height="15" /> )" alt=")" class="middle" width="15" height="15" />

I suppose it helps if you're a FPS gamer who played all those adventure games the 80s spawned.  Zork, anyone? 

Edit:  With thanks to Jon, who pointed out that a typo in the link took people to a god-bothering christian "rock" radio station web site! 

Fatty's latest post really sums it up:

What I like most about his latest post is this bit:

"A Perfect Place to Ride: The ultimate expression of a cyclist’s needs is the perfect route. What that perfect route is depends on the rider (although it has been widely rumored to be Tibble Fork in American Fork Canyon, Utah). Paradoxically, you may have — in fact, almost certainly will have — ridden the perfect route many times before you discover that it is, in fact, perfect."

There are so many really nice rides just outside my doorstep.  Each has its merits, each has its challenges, each is fun.  And with the right frame of mind, every one of them is perfect.  I consider myself fortunate to so often find myself in the bright blue part of this pyramid.

Today, I bring you a YouTube that is actually worth the 1 minute and 39 seconds of your life it will take to view it.  "As seen on TV - A tribute to doing it wrong"

:lol:

Enjoy!

It's been a while since I've written a Max's Guide To Cycling For N00bs.  I've been a little unmotivated.  But all that has changed, because the seasons, they are-a changin'.  But frankly, not fast enough for me.  In short, IT'S COLD!  I'm cold!  Riding in the cold sucks!

With that in mind, it seems that I need to write a MGTCFN with a winter theme.  How do we survive the cold?  How do we get out there and ride when it's below whatever your "cold" threshold might happen to be?  The reality is that my definition of cold, and your definition of cold will always differ.  Even if we live in the same place!  Some people feel the cold more than others.

The first (and obvious) answer is to wear warm clothes.  But on a bicycle, clothing choices make a difference.  You want clothing that is lightweight, doesn't drag in the wind, allows your body to move comfortably, and doesn't impede your ability to control the bike itself.  You want clothing that can easily and quickly be removed when you do eventually warm up.  You want clothing that breathes, so that your perspiration doesn't catch in the clothing and make you cold.  In short, you want bicycle-specific clothing.  Don't fall into the trap of wearing heavy winter clothing, unless you want to look like this guy:

So let's start with the basics.  Some people don't feel the cold.  For those people, their winter wardrobe differs from their summer wardrobe purely in aesthetics.  They're happy to wear a short-sleeved jersey and nicks.  These people are freaks and should be culled from the herd at the earliest opportunity.  Do not mate with one of these people.  Do we really want a generation of freaks who can't feel the cold?  Oh wait, hang on.. hmm.

Anyway.  For the rest of us, we need to start covering up the exposed body parts.  The consensus within the cycling community is that a layered approach is best.  Several thin layers are better than a single thick layer.  This allows the rider to adjust their clothing in response to changing conditions.

Base Layers

"Base layer" is a fancy word for "undergarment".  It's something you wear underneath everything else in an effort to keep your core warm.  The choice to wear a base layer is obviously a personal one.  In warmer climates, a base layer in winter is not necessary.  In cooler/cold/arctic climates, it's a good idea.  A good base layer is thin, light, made of breathable material, and sits close to the skin.  Look for words like "thermal", "lightwave", "heatwave","merino", and "breathable".  I bought one of these from Ground Effect just recently, and it's made the world of difference.

Doesn't look like much, does it?  But that thin Merino undershirt keeps me warm without overheating.  I've never felt so comfortable on a cold morning's ride.

Base layers are also available for the lower body:

In cold conditions, base layers make the world of difference.

Arm and leg warmers

I'm going to assume that you already have a summer riding wardrobe, and that you're looking to augment it for winter riding.  So the following assumes you're wearing a summer jersey and nicks.

You'll want to cover the exposed parts of your body.  A good start is arm warmers:

Arm warmers come in many designs, and you don't have to stick to basic black if that's not your thing.  Perhaps you'd like to show off some tattoos, without the pain, effort and expense (not to mention permanence) of actually getting a tattoo?

Or you'd like to support your favourite charity?

Whatever your fashion predilections, there's plenty of arm warmer designs out there.  But really, the number one priority in arm warmer selection should be warmth.  There's no use looking pretty if you're sitting on the side of the road, unable to ride your bike because your arms have frozen off.

When shopping for arm warmers, look at the description of the material.  Lycra arm warmers are good for sun protection and a little basic wind protection, but that's about it.  They won't keep you warm in the depths of winter.  Look for warmers made out of "Roubaix" or "Super Roubaix".  These have a somewhat fleecy inner that is quite thin yet still keeps you warm.  Anything with "thermal" in the description will also keep you toasty.  Arm warmers should fit snugly without being overly tight.  Look for warmers that have decent grippers.  These will prevent the warmers from slipping down and exposing your upper arms to the cold.  If you ride in low-light conditions, make a point of selecting arm warmers that have reflective piping on them.  I personally like to wear my arm warmers so that they go over the sleeve of a short-sleeve jersey.  This ensures a good seal between the two and prevents wind from going up the jersey sleeve.

I can already hear people asking the inevitable question:  Why arm warmers?  Why not just wear a long-sleeved jersey?  For most of us, the act of riding will, in fact, raise our body temperature.  We'll start feeling warm.. dare I say it, even hot.  Arm warmers can be rolled down, or removed entirely.  They give you flexibility.  Too warm?  Roll them down.  Still too warm?  Take them off altogether, and stash them in a jersey pocket or your backpack or panniers.

What's that?  Even with arm warmers, you're still too cold?  Fine, let's talk about long-sleeved jerseys and jackets.

Long-sleeved jerseys

Long-sleeved jerseys come in the same lightweight material as short-sleeved summer jerseys.  They also come in thermal varieties.  Your choice will depend on just how cold you are.  Long-sleeved jerseys made of summer material won't give you much more protection than, well, a summer jersey.  The cuffs are generally not tapered or elasticised, so you will get wind up the sleeves.  And, when you do finally warm up, you won't get much joy from rolling the sleeves up, because they'll fall down, or bunch up uncomfortably.  That said, a long-sleeved jersey might be the perfect fit for you if you ride in a cool (not cold) climate that doesn't warm up during the day.

Long-sleeved winter  jerseys are made of material that's actually designed to keep you warm.  Look for words like "Roubaix", "Micro-fleece", "Wind foil", "Merino" and "thermal".

Note the elasticised cuffs, the tall collar (to keep your neck warm), the long zipper, and the fleecy material.  Look for jerseys that are longer at the back than at the front.  This will prevent the jersey from riding up and exposing your lower back (not to mention plumber butt) to the cold.  Some winter jerseys have thumb loops at the bottom of the sleeves.  This helps keep the sleeve down around your wrist.

A short-sleeve jersey plus arm warmers will give a good middle ground between a long-sleeve summer jersey, and a long-sleeve winter jersey.

For some of us, the winter cold is made worse by windchill.  Either the wind is blowing all on its own (thanks, Mother Nature!!!) or you're riding at a quick enough clip to generate windchill.  I know there are times I've been on a ride where the biggest challenge has been dealing with cold wind.  It can feel like it's cutting right through you.  Jerseys and undershirts do come in windproof varieties, and if you live in a windy area, it's definitely worth the investment.  But sometimes that wind is actually welcome - like when you've worked up a sweat and you need to cool down.  So where's the middle ground?

Jackets and vests

There is a whole plethora of jackets and vests out there.  Some are designed for light rainfall/spitting.  Some are designed to protect against wind by adding a windproof layer at the front.  Some are designed to survive torrential rainfall.  You need to find something that is fit for your purpose.  There is no point buying a rain jacket if your challenge is just a bit of wind.  Similarly, a spray jacket won't be any good to you if you're dealing with a monsoon.  Because we're using a layered approach, let's limit this discussion to vests and light spray jackets.

Vests are great because they cover your chest, they're light, and they're great windbreaks.  Given the choice, I'll wear a vest instead of a jacket any day.  Vests typically offer protection from the wind at the front of the garment, whilst having a mesh or lighter weight material at the back.  This allows heat to dissipate.  Look for a vest that has a full zip, an elasticised waist and a tall collar, as well as a zipped pocket or storage area.  Many vests also offer some protection from rain, but bear in mind that a mesh-backed vest will be of limited use in this regard.  Cheaper vests will be heavy and bulky, and won't be especially breathable.  More expensive vests will be made of very lightweight material that allows heat to dissipate.  Lightweight vests can also be removed and folded up for stowage inside a jersey pocket.

Vests come in many colours and styles.  I have a personal preference for hi-viz vests, because the vast majority of my "cold" riding also happens to be "dark" riding.

Jackets

If you're doing it tough even with the base layer, summer jersey, arm warmers and vest, it might be time to move to a jacket.  As I mentioned before, some jackets are designed to cope with heavy rainfall.

These jackets are designed to keep water out, whilst also letting your perspiration escape.  Look for something with a hood (removable is nice), elasticised cuffs, storm flap over the zipper, thumb loops and a long back.  Some jackets also have vents under the armpits to allow windflow in to cool you.  This is a good thing, because unless you live in the arctic, you are going to get hot in one of these.  Airflow is good!

Some jackets are designed to act as windbreakers, with a little water resistance.  These are good for cold, dry climates.  They are generally made of lighter material than rain jackets, and often convert into vests by having removable sleeves:

Again, the cheaper the jacket, the less ventilation you'll get.  Pooling of perspiration within a cheap jacket is very unpleasant and can make you much colder than if you hadn't worn the jacket at all.

Phew.

Are you still with me?  It's been a loooooong read, but I hope you're still there.  Let's move on to the lower body.

Leg warmers

Much of the advice about arm warmers also applies to leg warmers.  Good leg warmers will have zippers at the bottom of the leg to allow for easy removal.  They'll have decent grippers at the top to prevent them from falling.  And they'll have reflective piping.  Wear leg warmers under the leg of your nicks.  When shopping for leg warmers, look for the words "Roubaix", "Windstop", "thermal" and the like.

If summer nicks are too cold to protect your upper legs and groin, consider wearing a base layer underneath, or possibly a second pair of nicks.  If you find that you never remove your leg warmers on cold rides, you might consider simply getting long nicks.

Again, look for something made of Roubaix material, thermal material and something that's windproof.  Make sure they have long zips at the back to make it easy to put them on and take them off.  And don't forget the reflective piping.

Head/face protection

If you're like me, you're a weenie who hates the cold.  Even fully layered up, I'll get cold if I'm not wearing something to protect my head, face and ears from the wind.  For those of you living in very cold environments, a balaclava could be the solution:

Bear in mind that a thick balaclava will also prevent heat from escaping through your helmet's vents.  This can be a double-edged sword.  If you live in the arctic, it'll be welcome.  But if you don't, you'll find yourself overheating despite the cold conditions.

I'm a big fan of neck rolls, or Buffs:

Yes, it's just a giant tube of fabric, but it's very versatile.  You can wear it as a neck roll, a face mask, a balaclava.. whatever.  I like it because it can be worn as a "topless" balaclava, allowing my head to breathe:

Hands and feet

Finally, let us not forget the extremities.

Long-fingered gloves are an obvious choice when dealing with the cold.  For cool climates, it is sufficient to have a thin glove with full fingers (as opposed to cut-off mitts).  Eliminating the windchill is all these gloves need to do:

You might sometimes see these described as "summer" gloves.  The term "summer" should be interpreted to mean "thin".  I find that a summer glove is good down to about 12 degrees C.  Below that, and I move to a heavier glove, something with wind-resistant material, and maybe some fleece lining.  If you're lucky, they'll offer rain protection as well:

When shopping for winter gloves, fit is important.  You need to be able to operate your bike's gears and brakes without the glove interfering with your movement.  That means your fingers need to reach the end of the glove's fingers.  Look for a glove that has a reinforced palm and grippy material on the thumb and first two fingers.  This will allow you to use the bike's gears and brakes without impediment.  Also look for an elasticised cuff that covers your wrist.  This will act as a seal to prevent the cold from getting in.

Some people wear an additional liner glove.  This works really well in cold climates.  I've also seen people wear latex gloves (the sort a doctor or CSI tech might use) to offer additional protection in rainy conditions.

Finally, let's talk about protecting your feet.  If your shoes have any sort of ventilation, you'll find that this lets cold air in.  Riding with cold feet can be very uncomfortable, and can turn an otherwise pleasant ride into an endurance event.

The first step is to find some decent socks.  I like thin cotton athletic socks, as these allow my feet to breathe.  Some people prefer thermal socks, or thick woolen socks.  There are cycle-specific socks out there, but my personal opinion is that there is not much difference between these and regular socks.  Except, perhaps, the price tag.  Wear whatever works for you.

On cold, windy or rainy days, I wear bootees, or overshoes.  These shoe covers slip over the shoe, and have a zip at the back:

I actually own a set of the ones shown above.  The outer is a water-resistant synthetic, and the inner is thinly lined with a fleece material.  I've worn these in torrential rain, and they were good for about three hours before they finally gave up and let water in.  When shopping for shoe covers, look for a long zipper at the back, velcro under the sole, heat-sealed seams, and reflective material on the back and sides.  Bootees come in all sorts of materials.  Some are lycra (mostly decorative, little protection), some are like the Sugoi bootee above, some are made of neoprene for hard-core rain and/or cold.

If it's just your toes that are cold, perhaps toe covers are a better option:

If the weather is just too cold for either of these, consider a winter-specific shoe:

So now you're decked out from head to toe, the only thing left to do is go out and ride!  You just better hope your bike doesn't look like this when you head off:

Some time ago, I wrote a post called Big Brother is watching, in which I commented on an article that described how the Dalai Lama's email server was hacked.  It pointed the finger at the Chinese government, and I made some sarcastic comment about how Big Brother is Chinese.  Well, I might've been on to something, because lo and behold, in my inbox today, I found this:

Comment: http://www.maxxxie.net/blog1.php/2009/03/29/big-brother-is-watching#c194

Blog: Max's Musing

Post: Big brother is watching...

Author: Sourcing from China (IP: 124.14.200.69, 124.14.200.69)

Email: thesourcing@gmail.com

Url:

Hi, interesting post. I have been thinking about this topic,so thanks for posting. I’ll probably be coming back to your blog for more interflow with you this Topic.<br />

The author is from CHINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And he's reading my blog!!!!!111!1!1!!!  AND he's been thinking about this topic!!!111!1!!!!  And he wants more "interflow" with me on this topic!!!111!1!!!1eleven!11!!

What I'm taking from this is:

1. Big Brother really is watching (he probably Googled himself to find my blog in the first place).  Calling himself "Sourcing from China" is his attempt at anonymity.  I mean, if your name was actually Big Brother (or Jesus Christ, or Elvis Presley), you wouldn't sign your real name, would you?  But BB (I can call him that, cos we're friends now), it's OK.  I know who you are.  Your secret is safe with me.
2. BB really is Chinese (his IP address confirms it).  I feel somewhat vindicated.  I mean, declaring that Big Brother was in fact the Chinese government was a pretty big call, especially since I based my conclusions entirely on that news article.  Others may have ridiculed me for making such a big call, but who's laughing now, huh????
3. He likes my blog so much, he's secretly honoured.  To be fair, I was probably the only decent hit in the Google search.  Let's face it, if my name was Big Brother and I Googled myself, I'd be grateful to find anything that doesn't make reference to the book or that TV show.  His parents might've just as well called him John Smith for all the useful search results he'd get.  Actually, he'd've been better off as John Smith.  A Google of "big brother" returns 82.5 million hits.  A Google of "john smith" returns 79.3 million hits.  I reckon BB is cursing his parents right now.  He could, of course, change his name to Esmeralda Shucker, which returns a mere 496 hits.  And lemme tell you, those are some quality hits.  He'd have no trouble separating the vanity hits from the chaff.
4. He finds me attractive.  Never in my entire online life (really, it might as well be my entire actual life) has anyone suggested they might like to have interflow with me.  I'll admit, I'm a little scared and a little nervous.  I've never done interflow before, but it sounds interesting.  And hey, if the Chinese are doing it, it can't be too bad, right?  I mean, these are the same people who invented spring rolls!  And sweet and sour pork!  And gunpowder!  And Chinese water torture!  Oh.. hang on.. perhaps interflow with a stranger is not such a good idea.  Especially one who Googles themselves.

I saw this pic on the net somewhere and loved it.  It appealed to my nerdy word game sense of humour.  Puntastic!

This picture is pertinent as I have been tent-shopping.  Specifically, I've been shopping for a tent to take to CQ.  Long-time admirers will recall that I participated in Cycle Queensland last year, and had a terrific time!

This year, we're doing it all again, except for one notable difference.  We did not secure an Easy Campese [PDF] tent.  So we are fending for ourselves this year.  Mum usually declines to participate altogether if she can't get an Easy Campese tent.  But I convinced her it'd be fine, and as a sweetener, I told her I'd do all the tent setup and tear-down.  I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.  Time will tell.  Mum basically wanted an Easy Campese tent, but those things are huge, heavy, bulky and I talked sense into her.

Anyway, all of this is to tell you, dear loyal readers, that I have been tent-shopping.  Tent technology has changed a great deal since my Cadet days.  Back then, I used to throw up a hootch, scoot under it, and sleep in the world's warmest sleeping bag.  Water was never a problem, since the hootch was watertight as a fish's arse.  The alternative was to carry a tent, and back then, tents were either a) wonderfully warm, waterproof and exceptionally heavy or b) waterlogged, cold misery, but easy to carry.

I'm not sure if this has changed much, but what I can tell you is that they are now much easier to erect than they were back in the day.  Long story short, we settled upon a Coleman Lakeside 3:

One for each of us.  Yes, you heard that right.  We are each having a 3-person tent to ourselves.  This will give us much more room inside, as well as privacy and basically a place to escape from it all.  You'll note the tent has a vestibule-like area in the front.  Funnily enough, it is a vestibule.  The plan is to stash the bike in here overnight, rather than leave it exposed to the elements (and thieves).  It's also a place to leave grotty shoes and the like so dirt doesn't get traipsed into the sleeping area.

So that is one less thing to think about for CQ.  I plan to take one of the tents out of the box on the weekend and try it out in the back yard.  If I can survive a horrid winter's night in it, without wussing out and running back inside to sit in front of the heater, it'll be fine for CQ.

A buddy of mine sent me the following question on FaceBook. I wrote him a long answer and decided I might as well put it on my blog, so here it all is:

How does your country view same sex marriage? I know you refer to your love as your wife...is that a legal thing like the country recognizes your union or is it more of a personal thig? Here in the US it is not recognized (lame) so couples must just take part in a "Promise" type ceremony that does not carry any real weight as far as benefits and taxes and such. I mean for christ sake its 2010! I think we are getting close though there has a been a really serious push as of late to legalize and recognize the marriage and to allow the spouse on to insurance and such.

My answer was pretty long, so settle down for a long one:

The short answer is that Australian government is in denial about its GBLT population.  It refuses to recognise gay relationships as "real" or "serious" or any other term that implies legitimacy.  Get yourself a cuppa mate, because this is going to be a long reply!

There's been somewhat of a coup in the government's leadership this week; the Prime Minister was ousted in favour of the deputy PM, who happens to be a woman.  This is the first time we've had a woman PM, and although women's libbers everywhere are screaming victory, I see it as a hollow one.  Our country still can't get its head around putting a woman in charge by electing her (rather than having her win by default when the elected leader gets kicked out).  We (collectively) are still being held back by antiquated ideals.  Finland just recently included gay relationships in the definition of marriage.  The very first person to take advantage of it was the country's Prime Minister!  Imagine that!  A PM (a woman who was presumably elected to the role unlike our current PM) being the first lesbian in her country to be legally married!  Talk about leading by example.  Australia needs to get its head out of the sand.

The nation's capital, Canberra, is located in a small section of land known as the Australian Capital Territory.  The ACT's only purpose in life is to house the government's buildings and a whole bunch of federal departments.  It is some irony, then, that the ACT is the only state/territory in the country to formally recognise same-sex unions.  Even then, it can't bring itself to call it "marriage".

I think that the concept of marriage as an institution whose sole purpose is to create and raise children is long outdated.  This country, as a whole, needs to recognise the growing shift (even within the heterosexual community) away from settling down in your 20s, having 2.5 kids, buying a house etc etc.  These are concepts that even straight people are starting to reject.  More and more straight couples are quite happy being together without the formality of a marriage.  However, they still have implied rights that gay couples do not.

Why then, is the gay community pushing for a change in the definition of marriage?  There are many answers to this question, so I will only give you my personal ones:

1.  Legitimacy.  My relationship with MaxBabe is no less real than the relationship between the husband and wife living next door to us.

2.  Recognition.  We (the world) need to stop being in denial about this.  Gay relationships are a fact of life.

3.  Formal/legal recognition.  This bit is important.  Once a straight couple are married, each member of that marriage has rights.  If a husband becomes sick, his wife is entitled to be at his side in the hospital.  She can make decisions for him if becomes unable to make them eg a comatose situation.  There's a famous case in the US where a lesbian was comatose after a car accident, and despite (previously) making clear to her partner that she did not want to be kept alive through artificial means, her partner had no right to demand that.  The comatose woman's parents had absolute rights, the partner had none, and she was kept alive for over a year.  A complete vegetable who, because of her sexuality, was robbed of her dignity in her final moments.  I've had personal experience with a hospital that couldn't cope with the concept that I'm MaxBabe's partner.  Being denied access to your sick partner by some narrow-minded bureaucrat is a terrifically stressful and disempowering experience.

4.  In the same vein; when one of us eventually dies, the other does not automatically have rights over inheritance, property etc.  Even wills can be challenged by homophobic family members.

5.  Kids.  The fact is every lesbian and her dog seems to be breeding today.  What happens if Mum dies, and the partner and 2.5 kids are left behind?  I'll tell you what happens!  Mum's family steps in and tries to separate the 2.5 kids from Other Mum because she's not a blood relative!  This sort of thing would not be tolerated if it were a heterosexual step-parent relationship, particularly if the step-parent was in that role from day one of the kids' lives.

6.  Entitlements such as pensions, taxes etc.. all the legal and financial stuff that straight couples take for granted.  Sometimes the lack of recognition actually works in our favour.  Years ago, when I was out of work and taking dole money from the government, my partner was in the same boat.  If we'd been legally recognised, the government would've given us (total) approx 2/3 of the money we actually received.  Why?  Because couples get less than 2 x singles.  Since the government saw us as 2 x singles, we got 2 x dole instead of 1.7 x dole.  Great, huh!  But more often than not, the lack of recognition works against us.

Mate, I could go on forever and still not fully articulate why I think the concept of marriage needs to include gay couples.

As to why I call her my wife, it's pretty simple.  The term "wife" implies long-term commitment.  Girlfriend is wishy-washy.  Lover suggests a purely sexual relationship.  Partner is OK, but I still prefer wife.  It removes all ambiguity about who she is to me, or how serious our relationship is.  And my greatest hope is that by using the term as frequently as possible, people will start to regard it as normal usage, not something odd or anti-establishment

Much has happened in the last month, including a great deal of work and travel for me.  I might write about those things sometime in the future.

What's really on my mind at the moment is the very sad and untimely passing of MaxBabe's brother, Mark.  He died on the 11th of June, aged 49.  Coincidentally, the 11th of June also happens to be our anniversary (this one was our seventh, yay us).  I've already decided that MaxBabe and I need to break up and get back together so that our anniversary can fall on a different date.

Anyway.. Mark.  He'd been ill for some time; Diabetes, some sort of chronic arthritis-related condition, and a few other things.  It wasn't a surprise that he would die young, but still.. nobody expects to get that phone call.  Nobody thinks to themselves when they wake up in the morning, "Hey, today's the day I lose my brother".  Even though it's expected, it's still a surprise, a shock.

MaxBabe is the youngest of nine kids.  Her parents are in their late seventies/early eighties.  Her siblings have kids of their own, and some have grandchildren.  As a result, their family is huge.  So many people have been touched and affected by Mark's death.  Over two hundred and thirty people attended the funeral service.  We know that 230 people signed the guest book, and we also know that there were people there who didn't sign it.  So the actual number of attendees is unknown, but still.. 230+.  Wow.

I only met Mark once, but he struck me as a nice guy.  It was clear he loved MaxBabe and vice versa.  Though they didn't speak much, or see each other often, they cared.  MaxBabe is, of course, now regretting how little they saw each other.  She remarked to me last night that it hasn't really sunk in that she'll never see him again.

The family is coping remarkably well.  There are so many of them, and they are so warm and affectionate to each other, there's a terrific support system in place.  I wonder, however, how each individual will cope once they've returned home to their normal lives.  MaxBabe's been a bit teary.  I know one of her sisters is in the same boat.  I guess each of them will come to a point of acceptance at their own pace.

For my own part, I've been somewhat teary too.  Although I didn't know Mark especially well, I'm sad about his death, and about the impact it has had on his family (by definition, my family).  It's also caused me to be somewhat introspective, to think about my own mortality and about the mortality of those I care about.  What if MaxBabe died tomorrow?  My parents?  Grandparents, cousins, aunt, uncle?  What about the rest of MaxBabe's siblings (seven left, and assuming they die somewhat in order of birth, MaxBabe will have to suffer another seven similar tragedies)?

It's all terrifically sad. 

There is much more to be said about this, but that's all I want to say right now.

You'll recall that I recently posted about how my site is now 95% operational, but that visitors to http://www.maxxxie.net/ were being redirected to a page that didn't exist.  It turns out that "visitors", plural, wasn't quite right.  It was "visitor", singular, ie ME, that was getting the redirect.  Not realising this, I logged a ticket with the new provider and asked them if they had any ideas.  I thought it was some wierd-arse htaccess or httpd.conf thing that needed to be touched.

Imagine my surprise when they wrote back and said they had absolutely no problems accessing the site!  Imagine my shame at not using my troubleshooting skills, when I opened IE and discovered it connected to the page just fine, thanks very much!

What I should've done:  tried it in IE.  Tried it on a VM.  Asked someone else what happened when they tried it.

Lesson learned.

Having determined the browser was the problem, I was left with the prospect of having to delete the entire cache/history to resolve it.  I didn't want to do that, and with a bit of googling, stumbled across this thread: http://x10hosting.com/forums/free-hosting/111095-how-stop-old-redirection-firefox.html.

The CacheViewer FF addon allowed me to selectively delete the cached files for http://www.maxxxie.net and hey, presto!  Now it works just fine, and I'm a happy camper.

Many thanks to the support dude at HostMonster who pointed out to me that everything worked just fine for him.  Without this piece of knowledge I would never have fixed this problem. 

Now, as you can imagine, there is much to post about since I have not been able to update my blog in about a month.  However, there is so much to post about, that I don't have time to do it right now.  Stay tuned.  Or, if you enjoy jokes, How do you keep an idiot in suspense?  I'll tell you later. 

So.. those of you who keep up with this blog will have noticed a) a lack of new items in RSS feeds; b) no cross-posted LJ posts; and c) you couldn't access the web site directly.

That's because some script kiddy caned the server this site was hosted on and we took it down because we didn't have time to deal with remediation and reinstating the service.  I've moved the site to another server for now, and it is mostly functional.  There's some hiccup with some HTTP redirection going on, so visitors to http://www.maxxxie.net/ will see some error messages.  You'll need to visit http://www.maxxxie.net/index.php to get to the functional blog.  I'll fix that up later.

Also, because my last file backup was a few months old, new photos I uploaded aren't present, so there's a few broken IMG links here and there.  Deal with it.  I'll upload the relevant files later.  For now, the blog is 95% functional, and hopefully the script kiddies have moved on.

It's been a while since I've posted a blog entry.  To be honest, there's not been much to write about.  So here is my life in bullet points, in no particular order:

• The snakes have been out and about on the bike paths lately.  The most recent incident involved a snake that was standing up in the middle of the path.  Kind of like a twig that's bent into a right angle.  Except, not a twig.  The cyclist in front of me tried to avoid it, but ran over its tail.  It short forward (towards me), then whipped around and went off the path and climbed up a tree.  Bloody snakes, it scared the crap outta me.  It looked kinda like this, except smaller and without a wall:

• Work's been insanely busy and tiring.  There are a couple people at work who are giving me the shits, bigtime, and I feel the only solution is for them to leave or for me to leave.  I'm doing my best to make sure either a) they leave or b) they lift their game.  I'm tired of carrying other people in my team.

• I've been doing a lot of work with virtual machines lately in an effort to get myself up to speed with Win2k8.  My PC wasn't up to the task, so I got myself a new box.  An Intel i7 with 8GB of RAM and a souped-up video card.  It's coping quite well with the rigors of multiple concurrent VMs.  Did I mention it presents eight cores to the OS?

• 8GB of RAM means an x64 OS, so I've got Win7 x64 Pro on the new box.  So far I haven't found any problems with drivers or software that doesn't like x64.  My challenges have actually been more around Win7's user access control BS that, even though I'm logged in as an administrator, questions or even prevents me from doing administrative things.  Sometimes, installers look like they've successfully installed a program, only to find that when you run it, half the damn files are missing.  That has been a source of great frustration.

• I haven't been riding as much as I'd like.  It's very cold in the mornings and it saps my motivation.  This means I haven't ridden to work in over a month.  I'm a pussy and should just suck it up and ride.  To that end, I have packed my clothes and other bits and pieces to take to work today, in preparation for riding to work tomorrow.  It could be much worse.  At least my bike's not like this:

• I've done a few rides with BikerChick, and they've been fun.  She's good to ride with - we're at about the same level of proficiency, she doesn't want to blab on and on while we're riding, but she's not silent either, she doesn't drop me like a rock, and on those occasions that we do get separated, she stops and waits for me (or vice versa).  It's good.

• Facebookland - there was a reunion organised for former members of the QAIRTC/2WG AAFC.  I was very enthusiastic about this until I realised that none of my Cadet buddies would be there, so it'd be a bunch of strangers in a loud pub talking about people and events I wasn't a part of.  So after a great deal of anticipation, I ended up not going.

• I've been watching a great deal of Star Trek.  I'm catching up on Star Trek: The Next Generation.  Some of the episodes are really cheesy, but they're mostly fun.  The good part is that I can skip the episodes I don't want to watch (yay, DVD).

There's really not much else to report.  Best I get myself organised for work.

Hotel guests pedal for their power.  The gist of it is that guests are encouraged to pedal a stationary bicycle, which in turn tops up the hotel's power banks.  As an incentive, the hotel offers free food to guests who generate 100 watt hours of power.

It ticks the boxes, really:

1. Cheaper operating costs for the hotel
2. Green mentality
3. Encourages hotel guests to exercise (let's face it, business travel is the worst for weight gain)
4. Gives guests a bit of a freebie

I think it's a great idea! 

Before I decided it was time to lose weight, I never really knew just how hideous I was at 95Kg.  Today, a friend sent me a photo she took of me at a work xmas get-together:

Sweet merciful crap.  I never knew, I honestly never knew.

So now, whenever I start feeling disheartened at not (yet) losing that last 4Kg, I must remind myself of where I started.  And I must also remind myself that I'm looking pretty fine these days:

An old school friend of mine recently got in touch with me, and suggested I get onto Facebook.  You know, because everyone's on it these days.  I'd so far resisted the draw of Facebook, purely from a "if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off it too?" standpoint.  But I have finally caved in.  So now, I can say this with authority:  Facebook is an abyss.  You can fall into it and keep falling indefinitely, and still not have found everything or everyone there is to find.

I've also installed the iPhone facebook app, and now have a much better appreciation of why some people seem to be on FB 24/7.  Disconnect, people!!!!

It's been interesting looking at all these people from the past.  The best part is that I have found some of my old Cadet buddies, and hope to reconnect with them.  The worst part was finding out that my old Flight's 50th anniversary was last bloody year and I didn't know about it.  This, despite the fact that I stalk their bloody web site on a regular basis!  So now I must either wait another 24 or 49 years to celebrate another milestone anniversary.  I doubt I'll be alive (or alive enough to enjoy it) in 49 years, so the best I can do is show up there in 24 years and hope the kids don't look at me like some antiquated, old, irrelevant dinosaur.

I've been off the bike for a week now.  For some reason, I find myself not wanting to ride, or, in fact, do anything.  I've been sitting in front of the computer playing The Sims 3, emailing, Facebooking, anything but riding.  My legs are starting to protest the inactivity and I'm thinking of going for a ride today just to make my legs stop complaining.  It's kind of foggy/rainy out this morning, but at least it's not beating down scorching sun.  Alright, best I go before I lose motivation.

Now, I am, of course, assuming that this blog has a huge readership, and that it is visited by vast numbers of Queenslanders.  Even though that might - might - not be the case, if you are indeed one of the vast number of Queenslanders who reads it.. please sign this petition.

Here's the gist of it:  Too many cyclists have been injured or near-injured as a result of motorists passing us too closely.  We are asking that the Traffic Act be amended such that it is mandatory to provide at least 1 metre clearance when passing a cyclist.

TO: The Honourable the Speaker and Members of the Legislative Assembly of Queensland

The petition of citizens of Queensland draws to the attention of the House deficiencies in the current overtaking laws in that motorists may come dangerously close to a cyclist while overtaking and at considerable speed, posing an undeniable risk and yet breach no law.

Your petitioners therefore request the House to enact legislation to modify existing regulations requiring that a motorist maintain a minimum safe distance of one metre between their vehicle and a cyclist whilst overtaking. Such a measure will strengthen current laws with respect to cyclists. This proposal, by providing clear boundaries, will better serve the interests of motorists and cyclists alike.

Furthermore, this proposal would also reflect the fact that it is not necessary for a motorist to collide with a cyclist in order to endanger either life or health; an anomaly that must be addressed if the government is to reduce congestion and promote cycling as a viable alternative means of transportation.

I acknowledge the importance sustainable green initiatives, and due to ever increasing environmental awareness, more Queenslanders are now seeing cycling as a positive way of reducing their carbon footprint and minimizing congestion. We question how long such enthusiasm will last while the current ambiguous legislation remains unchanged. A minimum distance of one metre has the potential to maintain this momentum, as well as contributing towards the Governments Q2 initiatives, helping more Queenslanders to "get their 30 each day".

If you are a resident of Queensland, SIGN THIS PETITION! Though you might not be a cyclist, there's every chance you know someone who is.  If you are not a resident of Queensland, please forward this to all your Queensland-based friends, family etc.

Who in the hell would choose to do a ride called Mountains of Misery????? 

Since the start of the year, I've been riding to work two or three times a week.  It's a 53Km round trip, mostly flat, mostly on bike paths, and reasonably safe.  The ride home is always a little tiring because there's a long(ish) hill 3/4 of the way home.  I always find it tough, but I always make it without having to get off and walk.

I hadn't realised that riding with a weight (backpack with laptop) and regularly climbing a hill actually improved my riding significantly.  I guess it's one of those things you don't notice until you're a) not riding with a weight and b) not riding up a hill.

In most states, March is Bike Week, and Bicycle Queensland did a pretty good job of it this year.  I participated in the Great Brisbane Bike Ride, something I've done for the last three years.

To summarise my last two efforts - the first year was done on my old mountain bike.  I collapsed somewhere like 10Km into it and sat on the side of the road gasping while my mother and BestMate rolled their eyes and told me to harden up.  I eventually got back on the bike, but I struggled the whole way.  The worst part was a hill in Dutton Park that was so steep it caused my legs to instantly cramp and I had to walk up it.

Last year, I rode The Noble Steed, and did a much better job of it.  I didn't struggle until near the end, and that hill defeated me again - although I did make it halfway up before my legs gave up.

This year, I rode The Beast into town to the start line (rather than drive in, as I'd done in the past).  I did the official ride almost effortlessly, and that hill was finally conquered!!!!!!!!!!!  I put it into the easiest gear, and stood up all the way.  It was tough, but my legs didn't conk out and I made it all the way up!  By the end of the ride, I'd done 65-odd Km and was feeling just fine.

Now that's gotta be from doing all the extra riding to/from work.

I stayed off the bike for five days after that ride - mostly due to lack of motivation.  Anyways, I rode into work last Friday and every pedal stroke was an effort.  Note to self:  Do not follow long rides with consecutive days of inactivity.  Although I made it to work, the ride home was less than stellar.  I ended up having to get MaxBabe to pick me up halfway home because I just couldn't face that long hill.

During the drive home, I got a phone call from this chick I've been wanting to ride with for ages, but haven't been able to due to conflicting schedules. So when she suggested we go for a ride on Saturday, I didn't hesitate. The conversation went something like this:

BikerChick: Let's go for a ride tomorrow!
Max: OK!
BikerChick: Let's ride out to Redcliffe (a 50Km ride)!
Max: OK!
BikerChick: And let's ride back from Redcliffe (100Km round trip)!
Max: OK!
BikerChick: Seeya!
Max: Bye!

Max (to MaxBabe): WTF did I just agree to? I have a huge ride on Sunday!
MaxBabe: Better HTFU, babe.

Anyways.. I went on the Redcliffe ride with BikerChick and managed to do 104Km all up.  The long ride I mentioned above was the Ipswich 100.  In hindsight, I really shouldn't have done the long ride on Saturday, because the Ipswich 100 was 100 kilometres of gruelling, punishing, unrelenting, hill-climbing hell.  I was doing OK at the first stop. By the second stop, I was starting to hurt. By the third stop, I'd run out of gas, and all but collapsed. I wanted so badly to get on the sag wagon and be done with it. I just couldn't face another 25Km of cycling hell. My mother (the former world-class triathlete) shamed me into completing the ride, so I sat on her wheel the rest of the way. It was tough. I had to stop four or five times during that last leg just to get my mojo back. But we finally made it to the finish line.

I recorded the whole thing with my iPhone's CycleMeter app.  You can see the route here:  http://ridewithgps.com/trips/25878. 10.3% maximum grade!

My mum really is a machine. She was struggling by the end though.. but that's only because she hasn't been on a bike since January! I've long maintained that the only way I can keep up with her is when she's been off the bike for ages. The same goes for BestMate. One day I will become a better cyclist! Until then, I will fall back on writing about my rides on this blog! 

Though I was a little sore Monday and Tuesday, I'm feeling pretty good overall.  It's the first time I've done back-to-back 100Km days.  I'm pleased that I survived the Ipswich 100, though in all honesty, I doubt I'd willingly do it again.  It was really tough, and I stopped enjoying it somewhere after the 50Km mark.

That said.. I've signed up for the Brisbane To Ipswich ride, which is in mid April.  That ought to be a good ride!

Site stats are a funny thing.  I look through this site's stats from time to time, just for fun.  Predictably, most search engine hits are for bike-related things.  "Continental gatorskins" is a current favourite, and lots of people have read my review of the Deuter City Cross backpack.

But the one that makes me laugh and laugh is the sheer number of people looking for "wheel oil beef hooked", said in an Irish accent.  Of all the things to get hits from!  )" alt=")" class="middle" width="15" height="15" />

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What the hell is wrong with this chick?    I think all the fat in her body has collected and formed a tumor in the decision-making part of her brain.

Yay, a new version of Firefox.  I'm not as excited about it as you might think.  It's more one of those "meh" "Yays" instead of a truly ecstatic "Yay".

The new version of FF decided to change the way it deals with opening new tabs.  I like control-clicking links so that they open in a new tab, and so that the new tab opens to the right of other tabs, not immediately to the right of the tab in which the control-click was performed.  FF 3.6 has decided it doesn't like this, and has defaulted to IE's default of opening tabs directly to the right of the originating tab.  GRRRRRRRR!

But all is not lost.  With the help of the all-knowing, all-finding Google, it was easily fixed.  And now, my life's previous sense of order has been restored.  Ahhhhhhhh, that's better.

Yeesh.  And more yeesh. 

I had intended to participate in the Bike Week women's ride this morning.  A 25 or 40Km trundle around Sandgate with a bunch of likeminded women.  I wanted to go because I figured it'd be a laid-back group ride big enough to have a presence but not so big as to be a big swarm.

I rode to/from work yesterday, and the ride home was hellish.  Headwinds most of the way.  I decided last night I'd probably be too knackered to do the ride today.  I felt bad about it, but MaxBabe wisely told me that I could always change my mind in the morning if I felt good.

I slept in until 0600.  The ride starts at 0630 (a mere three minutes away).  There's no way I'd make it there on time.  And I am absolutely kicking myself, because a) it is a BEAUTIFUL day outside, b) I really wanted to do this ride and c) I should've known I'd be tired from riding to/from work, and planned things so I didn't ride yesterday.

So now instead of riding my bike, I am riding a wave of disappointment.  I know it will ebb soon, but for now I'm sad about it. 

Sorry for the lack of postings lately.  I'm sure all my loyal reader(s) have been experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

This is just a quick post-n-run.  I came across a site called Hello Kitty Hell, and it's something that needs to be seen to be believed!

Click the link, you know you want to!

That's how much of your life you'll lose by watching this YouTube.  But the laugh factor alone is worth it.  Do kids really respond to this tripe?

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Probably as a result of watching an episode of RPA, I decided to check out YouTube's repository of footage of grand mal seizures.  I wasn't sure at first if I'd be traumatised by watching somebody have a seizure, but decided to look at the footage anyway.  And you know what, it didn't bother me at all.  I'm not sure if that means I'm well-adjusted and comfortable with my condition, or if it means that I'm fucked in the head.  Well, actually, I am fucked in the head.  Oh, I crack me up.  Thanks, folks, I'll be here all week!

Seriously, now.  I actually found it kind of interesting to watch.  The first one I watched had some interesting comments after it, including some responses from the author.  Although I don't envy her condition, I do envy the fact that she actually knows when one's coming on.  I'd like that.  Epileptic surprises aren't my cup of tea.  I also laughed at this one comment she made:  "When it's over I get a horrific headache - like an ice cream headache, but it lasts for several minutes or more."  Several minutes?  Lady, I'm doubly envious.  Granted, I've only ever had two grand mals, but the headache lasted easily a month every time.  A month.

This one of an absence seizure was interesting too.  Having had both kinds, I'm not sure which I prefer.  Actually, I am sure.  I'd rather have the absence seizures, thanks very much, without the pain, the headaches, and the injuries from falling/hitting things.  Of course, if it were up to me, I'd rather have neither of them.  Life without epilepsy would definitely be different, I think.

This is a bit of a fly-by posting for me.. I just wanted to put up some pictures of what one (un)lucky cyclist found on his handlebars the other day!

This guy lives only one suburb away from me, and declared that indoor visits from snakes were "not uncommon".

I can't remember if I've posted these before, so here they are.. some of my favourite biking YouTubes, all by the same guy:

Dude makes an excellent point. 

Is it wrong that I'm stuffing my face with KFC while watching The Biggest Loser?

I know this because they arrived to this site by way of a Google search for "gatorskins are a bitch to put on and off".  A kindred spirit, indeed.  )" alt=")" class="middle" width="15" height="15" />

Some time ago, I wrote this post, in which I complained about how damn hard it is to remove, and particularly, install Gatorskin tyres.  I found myself avoiding riding, just in case I got a roadside flat and had to either a) spend two hours on the side of the road fucking around with regular tyre levers, or b) call MaxBabe.  I decided that I had to find a way to make it easier to fix a flat.  So I got myself a set of VAR tyre levers from SJS in the UK:

These levers work by using the notched side (in the bottom right corner of the picture above) as a pivot point.  Basically, you attach the notch to the rim, then use the hooked side (upper right corner) to catch the bead of the tyre, then pull the bead of the tyre onto the rim.  In the picture above, the lever in the middle is actually a removable item that you can use as a regular lever.  I just removed it altogether.  The VAR levers are basically a giant set of tweezers.  And boy, are they effective.

Riding home last night, I cycled through an underpass at a pretty decent clip.  It's on a bit of a bend and if you're not careful, your wheel can run over a rock and slip.  So when the back wheel slipped sideways, I figured I'd just gone over a rock (this, after near crapping my pants because I almost went arse-over in the process).  But metres later, I knew something was wrong.  Sure enough, the back tyre was down.  After a brief moment of denial, I decided I just had to get on with it and fix it.

So I flipped the bike upside down, removed the back wheel, got out all my tools, and pulled the tyre off with regular levers.  I found the source of the flat.  It was not a rock, but in fact a huge chunk of glass.  What I'd thought was the sensation of slipping on a rock was actually the tube insta-deflating and the tyre losing traction as it went all floppy.  I used my multi-tool to pry the glass out, and carefully placed it away from the path so that some other unfortunate cyclist would not run over it.

I replaced the tube and walked the tyre onto the rim with regular levers.  I got to the last part of the process, which is always tough, finger-breaking, lever-snapping hell.  I pulled out the VAR lever and sat it on the rim of the wheel, and hooked the other end under the opposite tyre bead.  One tilt of the lever, and the tyre was ON!!!!  I actually managed to change the tube and install the tyre in less than 15 minutes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Happy day!!!!  It was not all rosy, however.  Having hand-pumped a little air into the tube, I pulled out my CO2 dispenser.  I hooked it up to the valve, and the dispenser shat itself and fell to bits.  FUCKIT!  It did seem to still dispense CO2 however, so I pulled out another canister (denial is a wonderful thing, I really should've just accepted it was dead) and tried again.  It dispensed CO2 alright, straight into the atmosphere.  So that's two canisters wasted.  I had no more left, so resigned myself to having to hand-pump the tube to a decent pressure.

Now, I should emphasise that whilst I have something approximating cyclist legs, my arms might as well be made of wet noodles.  I have no upper body strength.  So getting anything near decent pressure with a regular hand pump is nigh on impossible.  The pump is a Tioga model, but unfortunately I can't find a web link to it anywhere.  I guess it's been discontinued.  However, it is very similar to this Topeak pump:

It has a little foot pedal doodad that flips out, the pump head is attached to a tube (so you don't break the valve with vigorous pumping), and the handle unfolds into a L shape.  Basically, it's an eeny-weeny track pump.  And it is ten kinds of awesome.  I was able to pump up to a pretty high pressure.  Probably not the recommended 110 PSI, but I'm guessing somewhere around the 80 PSI mark.  Definitely high enough to nurse the bike home.

Finally, I futzed around for a bit trying to fit the wheel back to the frame, eventually got the thing in, and made my way home.  It actually took me longer to get the tube inflated than it did to fit the tyre!  Overall, I think I spent 30-45 minutes on the whole exercise.

Did I mention that all of this was done in pitch black?  Thank god for my helmet-mounted Ayup light:

Unfortunately, I was set upon by a legion.. no.. a squadron of mosquitoes.  Why did I not bring the little aerogard spray bottle that MaxBabe bought me specifically for this reason?  Why did I leave the bloody thing at home?  I haven't counted them, but I'm guessing around 30 bites on my legs, arms and shoulders.  Oh well.

Lest this post turn into a whinge, I would just like to say this:  my VAR levers are fuckin' awesome.  And so is my Tioga pump.

I don't know how this happened.. but today when I changed the tube on the back wheel, the Gatorskin came off with only a single nudge from the tyre levers.  And.. I got most of it back on without levers, and actually got the last of the bead on by hand!!!    Could it be that I have beaten the Gatorskin into submission?  That the mere threat of acquiring super-powered tyre-fitting tools was enough to cow it into behaving?  I'm not going to question it.  I'm merely accepting it!

The not-so-good news is that I could not find a definitive cause for the puncture.  I found the hole in the tube, but it appears to be on the inside edge of the tube, suggesting there was some foreign body/protrusion on the inside of the rim of the wheel.  That's not cool.  In any case, I dug a shitload of glass out of the Gatorskin, so here's hoping that's the end of the flat tyres for a while.

After my rant the other day about the Continental Gatorskins, I ordered two sets of special, magic, stubborn-tyre-removing tyre levers.  Both of which had to come from overseas because Australia is a fucking barren wasteland when it comes to affordable bike stuff and therefore will not come into my possession for a few weeks... but I digress.  The point of this post is to say this:

I came in this morning to find my fucking Gatorskin has a fucking flat.

Scratch at least two hours out of my life when I come home tonight.  Sigh. 

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You'll recall that some time ago, I wrote a post entitled "I am a judgemental turd", in which I questioned the Fat Cyclist's ability to start dating so soon after the death of his wife.  Fatty's latest blog entry addresses this issue, in a much classier way than I could ever have articulated.  Onya, Fatty.

I just had the most brilliant ride out to Nudgee and back!  Even though there were lots of pedestrians to dodge during the first half of the ride, I managed to make it to Nudgee in PB time, averaging 26.8Kph!!!!!  And the return trip was almost as good, with an overall average of 26Kph, another PB!  YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

This is what you'll find when you search for tyre levers on Google.  What the?  )" alt=")" class="middle" width="15" height="15" />

Continental's Gatorskin tyres are a blessing and a curse, all rolled into one tyre-shaped lump of rubber.  The blessing is that they are puncture-resistant.  At least, they claim to be.  I've had so few punctures in my cycling life (four punctures in 30 years of cycling, and all of them were in 2009!) that I really can't comment.  Or, as they say in scientific circles, I don't have a sufficiently large data set from which to draw conclusions.

Anyway.  The Gatorskins are great when they're actually on a wheel.  But if, for any reason, you have need to remove and/or reinstall said Gatorskin, be prepared to throw away anywhere between 1 to 2 hours of your life.  These are no ordinary tyres.  No, they fall into a category of tyre I can only politely describe as "reluctant".

I've been having an ongoing drama with my bike's tubes.  The generic "Swallow" brand I've been using has two problems.  First, they tend not to retain air for more than a single day.  So I have to inflate my tyres every single motherfucking ride.  This is made worse by the fact that the valves are constructed in such a fashion that they rarely admit air.  I actually have to half deflate the tyre in order for the valve to start working.  If I do not do this, the only thing that gets inflated is the tube running from the pump to the valve.  If by some miracle, I manage to get the air inside this tubing to somewhere around 120-130PSI, the valve finally succumbs and allows air to pass through its evil, useless, pathetic, metallic body.  At that point, I inevitably discover I've been riding on 60PSI (instead of 130!).

All this is actually leading to the point I'll soon be making.  In desperation, I turned to the experts at BNA, who made all sorts of suggestions.  Some suggested my pump was the problem.  Some suggested the tubes.  Some suggested my technique.  I've had some troubles with the pump anyway, so decided I might as well get a track pump to leave at work.  I tried the track pump, and had the same problem - valve not admitting air.  OK, so it's not the pump.  No worries, it's not a useless expense as I needed a pump at work anyway.

Last week, I headed down to Epic and got myself some Michelin Airstop tubes.  Knowing that the Gatorskin is a pain in the arse to replace, I decided to do the front tyre first.  It is (or was, I'll get to that later) a Maxxis Colombiere, the tyre that came with the bike.  The Colombieres are extra easy to install and remove (no levers required) as they are nice, soft, bendy, folding tyres.  In the process of replacing the tube, I decided to inspect the tyre and discovered a cut running approx 3/4 of the way across its width.  Time to replace the tyre!  I begged BestMate for one of his new Vittoria Rubino Pro folding tyres, and he graciously gave me one.

Installation of the Rubino was pretty easy as it's a folding tyre.  The very last bit of the bead did require a little encouragement, however, with some tyre levers.  Still, only about 30 minutes of my life was spent on it.  The upshot of all of this is that the Michelin tubes have made a difference.  They're not perfect.  I still need to release some air from the tyres when inflating, but nowhere near what I had to with the Swallow brand.

Pleased with the Michelin on the front, I decided to install the other tube on the back.  I knew going in that I would have a struggle with the Gatorskin.  Previous encounters with Gatorskins have resulted in blood blisters on my thumbs.  So I knew I'd be in for a tough time.  Still, I knew the end result would be worth it.

Anyway.. we are finally at the stage of this post that I finally get to my point.  The Gatorskins are a fuckin' bitch to get onto the wheel.  I spent fully two motherfucking hours installing this goddamn tyre on the wheel.  Even the first bloody bead didn't want to go on by hand.  I had to use tyre levers the whole fucking way until it finally got to that last part of tyre installation that is always tougher than the rest - the last few inches of tyre.  No matter the tyre, this part is tougher than installing the rest, as the tyre is being stretched over a rim that is larger than the tyre's bead.  I accept that.  But the Gatorskin takes this process to a completely new level of  finger-breaking, lever-snapping frustration.  Note that no fingers or tyre levers were actually snapped.  Just accept the metaphor for what it is, OK?

Pride be damned, I wanted to ride, not spend any more time fucking around with the tyre.  As I sat there, cursing, sweating, in pain, my thumbs alternating between numb and burning, I considered taking the wheel and tyre into a bike shop, wherein they would surely put their years of experience and collection of specialised tools to use, and mount the tyre in seconds.  I considered this seriously.  Right up until when I looked at the clock and realised it was past 5pm.  FUCKIT!

I finally got the tyre onto the rim by "walking" the tyre levers to get it over that last part of the rim.  Fucksake.  I squeezed evey part of the tyre to make sure the tube wasn't trapped between it and the rim.  The last thing I wanted was a pinch flat, necessitating further removal and reinstallation of the tyre.  All good, I inflated the tyre and moved on with my life.  I'll be taking The Beast out for a ride late this afternoon, when the heat has settled down, to make sure everything's fine with the bike.

*Phew*  All that to tell the story of a stubborn tyre!

This tube-changing task was part of some maintenance I've been putting off.  Yesterday, I put the bike on the stand and, having removed the back wheel for the tube change, noticed that the cassette was full of crud.  So I degreased the crap out of it and washed it and meticulously cleaned between each cog.  Having done that, I realised the chain would just deliver more crap to its beautiful, clean, pristine teeth.  So I removed the chain, too.  Yay for the quick-release doodads on fancy racing chains!  Then I realised the chainrings were full of crud too, so they'd need to be cleaned as well.

In deference to my limited mechanical skills, I did not remove the crankset.  I settled for leaving the chainrings on the bike and cleaned them in situ.  I treated the chain to a big dose of degreaser though, followed by meticulous scrubbing of each link, washing, rinsing and drying.  I've never seen the chain so clean!  Then I cleaned the jockey wheels on the derailleur and reinstalled the chain.  Incorrectly.  I missed passing the chain through one of the guards.  Of course, I did not notice this until I had oiled the chain and was changing the gears to distribute the oil.  Hmm, what's that noise?  Why has the back wheel locked up?  Could the derailleur be out of alignment?  No... it was fine until you fucked around with the chain, Max.. think about it logically.

Sure enough, I found the problem - which of course involved removing and reinstalling the chain and getting covered in chain oil.  I suppose that is appropriate punishment for incompetence.  It could've been worse - I could've discovered it on the road.  Oh, that would've been bad.

Anyway.  Long story made somewhat shorter - the drivetrain is now absolutely spotless.  Until this afternoon, of course, when I go for a ride.  Until then, I am basking in the drivetrain's shiny, immaculate glory.