Max's Miscellaneous Musings

Dear end user:  When you ring our after-hours emergency service to log a production-stopping emergency, it would be nice if you were actually having a production-stopping emergency.  When I drop everything and call you, only to learn that you (one single person) were the only one affected, and that you got around it by using somebody else's computer, that means, in fact, that production has not stopped.  When I subsequently step you through troubleshooting and you whinge and bitch that troubleshooting will take time, that serves only to infuriate me.  I mean, do you want the problem fixed or do you not?  If not, why the bloody fuck did you call the after-hours emergency service?  And then, when it turns out that all you had to do was log off and log back on again, that makes me double plus angry.  You bloody-well already know that most hiccups of the type you experienced are fixed by doing this.  Did you bloody-well do it?  No, you did not.  You're the kind of turd who doesn't want to help himself, then complains when others try to help him.

You fucking loser.