This blog has moved - go to http://www.maxxxie.net/

What a great ride!! Overall, I felt like I rode exceptionally well. I managed to keep a high cadence for the most part, I passed lots of people on the flats, and surprisingly, a lot of people on the hills too. I think I really found a sweet spot combination of cadence and gearing, because I felt like I could sustain it without getting too tired. Shame I have no idea what gear I was in at the time!!

We had a break at Wynnum and set off again. I did myself no favours by not having enough to drink, and around 15Km of the return trip was spent experiencing painful cramps above my knees. At one point, I clicked my left foot out and put it down on the ground. This set all the muscles in my leg off, and the next thing I knew, my leg muscles forced my leg totally straight and I could not bend it at all! I had to use my hands to force the leg to bend, after which the cramps finally released.

I had to take the rest of the ride pretty easy. That said, my riding has improved out of sight since last year's Brissie to Bay. I didn't walk up any hills, and didn't stop nearly as often as I did last time. Mental note for next time: DRINK, you stupid woman!!!

I also saw a pretty impressive crash. We were going down a long hill with a long sweeping right turn at the bottom. Some fool decided to tear down the hill and take the corner way too fast. The bike slid out of from under him, and he went straight under the wheels of another cyclist. Poor guy had no choice but to run right over him. He somehow managed to stay upright, and the guy who'd come off his bike walked away without serious injuries. I reckon he'll be sore tomorrow though!

I'm travelling to Sydney tomorrow, and staying there all week for team meetings. I'm not really looking forward to it. Three days have been committed to training sessions with 3Com, which I guess is fine.. but really, three days? For a switch? Famous last words: Just how complicated can it be? Somehow I also need to fit in regular scheduled teleconferences and a few ad-hoc ones thrown in for good measure. No amount of begging for rescheduling of the ad hoc ones resulted in a change.. so I get to teleconf while trying to do all the other stuff I'm being sent to Sydney to do. On the two non-3Com days, we have to fit in team planning sessions, in which we are supposed to brainstorm and come up with ideas for stuff we should do this financial year. Problem: We do this every year, and at the end of every year when we review what we've actually done, it's inevitably worlds apart from the original plan. I know we need a plan, but historically we just don't seem to stick to it, and the planning sessions end up feeling like imposed wastes of time. I can only draw one of two conclusions: 1. We are clueless boobs who couldn't organise a root in a brothel; or 2. Planning is a waste of time. Personally, I'm going with option 1.

GreenSight has been letting people go, left right and centre. It's being done gradually, so you just don't notice it's happened until long after the fact. Most of the people being let go are either taking early retirement or redundancies. In other words, the most experienced people are leaving the business. I can't help but wonder how the business will operate once the financial climate improves. I also can't help but wonder when our business unit's IT department will start getting pruned. BestMate and I have been secretly hoping for redundancies, but I don't think it will happen. So far, the people on contract have been let go. Mostly these people were hired for a specific purpose, and I guess we can live without them.. but then what? I'm worried the beancounters will start slicing and dicing. Will my job be next? BestMate's? My team members'? We've worked together for years. The thought of any of them being let go is very disheartening.

Another reason I'm not particularly looking forward to the trip is because the people in Sydney haven't seen me in eons, and will inevitably gush about my weight loss. Look.. I know I've lost a lot of weight, and that I should be proud/pleased/happy etc with it.. but the fact is I'm very uncomfortable with people drawing attention to it. Compliments are kinda hard to take. Why is that? That said, my plan is to wear all my "thin" clothes this week. I happen to look kinda hot in most of this stuff, which of course draws attention to my weight loss. Seriously, WTF. Do I want attention or do I want to be ignored? I cannot have my cake and eat it too.

Speaking of cake, I haven't recorded any of my food/exercise in the diary the last few days. I just feel like I'm totally over it all.. the calorie counting, the exercising, the focus on energy in vs energy out. I just don't want to think about it. That, and my body just doesn't seem to a) want to lose any more weight, which TBH is fine with me and b) only seems to lose weight when I totally overeat. Which has put me in a "it doesn't matter if I overeat because I'll lose weight anyway" mentality, which has actually seen me binge eat a couple times this week. Ie eating to soothe a mental demon, not because I'm actually hungry. This is not good, and all it means is that I'm really not at the end of the process yet. As ready as I might feel, I realy do need to keep monitoring my intake/output and weight. I'm just not mentally/emotionally ready to stop.

The good news about the Sydney trip is that the hotel a) serves ridiculously BAD food, to the point that it's barely edible, and b) has a fantastic gym. I might use this as an opportunity to get back into the swing of things.