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From all my enthusiastic posts on the topic, you'd think cycling is all rainbows and sunshine and puppy dogs and butterflies.  I'm here to tell you that it's just not true.

This morning, I had a sleep-in and decided to go out on the bike a bit later than usual.  My legs were feeling pretty heavy and I wasn't really getting into the swing of things.  About 5Km into it, I got into a nice rhythm and things were looking up!  As I approached a bend that goes into a short climb, things just didn't feel right.  The turn was sluggish and the climb was more challenging than it should've been.  My legs were feeling OK by this point, but the bike wasn't.  I looked down and discovered the back tyre was flat. Bummer.

"Never fear!  I am well prepared!", thinks I.  I had tyre levers, a spare tube, a pump, patch kit and CO2 inflator.  Between all of these, I should've been able to replace the tube and be on my way in under 10 minutes.

I didn't even need the tyre levers.  The tyre's bead was so pliable I was able to remove it by hand.  I discovered a few big chunks of glass in the tyre, and discovered one that had penetrated the tyre's wall to cause the puncture.  Great!  I removed the chunks of glass, inspected the tyre for any more debris, then pulled out the replacement tube.  I installed it in record time, and reached for the pump to inflate the tube.

The pump has the wrong fragging head on it!  It's for a schraeder valve, and my tubes' valves are presta.  Ok, no worries.. I know most pumps can be converted from one to the other.. so I called my mum for advice on how to do it.  Hmmm - it can be done in theory but no idea how to actually do it on this one.  Great.  No worries.  I pull out my CO2 inflator.. and cannot get the ()*&@#$ thing to work!

By this time I've been on the side of the road for at least 30 minutes, and have been passed by every man and his dog out for a Sunday ride.  I WANT TO BE BACK ON MY BIKE, DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!

Cyclist culture dictates that passing cyclists will offer help to others who are suffering mechanical problems.  Until this time, I'd declined all invitations.  I mean.. I had a spare tube, knew how to install it, I had a pump, had a CO2 inflator.. I needed no help!  But now, I had no idea how I was going to get myself home.  Yet another fellow cyclist passed and asked if I needed help.  I conceded that I did, and asked if he had a Presta pump.  He didn't, but offered me use of his CO2 inflator (which, of course, worked perfectly).  It was then that I discovered that the new tube did not sit inside the tyre properly.  We couldn't get it to sit right.  He started to inflate the tube, but it started pushing out between the bead of the tyre and the rim.  This is a recipe for an insta-flat, so we decided between us that there was no more that could be done.

In frustration, I knelt down on the grass and called MaxBabe.  In the process, I was set upon by the local ants, resulting in some very unpleasant ant bites to add to my already wounded pride.

Caught somewhere between and , I waited for MaxBabe.  She got there pretty quick and took me home.

End result:  A planned 50Km ride cut short to 5Km, two ant bites, a tube that doesn't fit my tyre, a pump that does not )*&@#$ work, and a CO2 inflator I have no idea how to operate!

Worse than all of this put together, is the knowledge that it is perfect cycling weather today, and I'M NOT BLOODY RIDING!!!!  ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edit:  Google knows all.  Pump has been converted, so problem #1 has been resolved.  Now to sort out the tube and the CO2 inflator