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Last Thursday was a pretty big day. We had an 0500 flight to Sydney, which meant we had to be up by 0230. I tried, I really did, but I just could not get to sleep Wednesday night. I tossed and turned, as did MaxBabe. I must've eventually lost consciousness, because I was jolted awake by my alarm at 0230. I rolled over to find MaxBabe was already out of bed. She gave up on trying to sleep at around 0200. We got ourselves organised and drove to the airport. Thankfully we had enough time that we could sit in the qantas club and have some breakfast. It was pretty much the only rest we had all day.

This post is loooonnngggg.....

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Flew to Sydney, did a quick trot to the other terminal, and got on a sardine can plane to Wagga. Wagga's airport is pretty small. Smaller than Coffs Harbour's airport. It doesn't have any security screening whatsoever, and the baggage pickup is not a carousel. It consists of a pickup point outside the back door. A guy drives a small, luggage-filled trailer from the plane to the dropoff point, unhooks the trailer from his buggy, and drives off. Passengers collect their luggage straight off the trailer.

Wagga's air was thick with flies. I couldn't believe how many of them there were! We got a cab to the hotel, sat down for a bit, then went to a local kebab place for lunch. Walked back to the hotel, got changed, went to the uni.

I registered at the gown hire place and got all kitted out. The whole process was very fast, I was out of the gown hire place in under five minutes. Spent a lot of time sitting around waiting for my mum to arrive. MaxBabe filled in the time by taking photos of me in the Mythical Shirt and the gown etc. Mum arrived and more photos were taken.

Finally, we were allowed into the graduation hall. The hall itself was much smaller than I'd anticipated (having only previously attended a graduation ceremony at UQ, where there were many more people in attendance). I was put into the "graduates" section, and MaxMum and MaxBabe were put into the "guests" section. I found myself sitting next to another MNSA graduate, a fellow whose entire topics of discussion revolved around the pub, how he was getting to the pub, who he would find there, what he would drink etc etc.. I found myself nodding and smiling. Meanwhile, the hall started filling with people and I found myself getting nervous.

The ceremony eventually started with the introduction of the academic hobknobs. Once they'd arrived, we sang the national anthem, listened to some formalities and eventually the process of conferring of awards started. It started with the PhDs, three of them. Each PhD was introduced along with the topic of their thesis and how the study/research/thesis makes the world a better place. It just went on and on and on. I found myself wondering if they were going to read the thesis out to them. I found myself thinking, please.. no... please.. no... just get on with it, do NOT start quoting these peoples' theses. Each PhD candidate got about 5 minutes of airtime, which doesn't sound like much until you have to sit through a 5-minute description of a thesis. We were all shifting in our seats by the time it was over. And so started the introduction of mere peons like me.

We lined up to the side of the stage, row by row. Finally my row of graduates was shepherded to the front of the hall, and some last-minute name-checking was done. "Are you Peter?", said the marshall. No, I'm not Peter. "Raymond?" No, not him either. Clue: I have breasts, and no pee-pee. The realisation that people were missing sent the marshall and his friend into a panic. Finally I was at the head of the line and they told me to tell the announcer that people were missing! I told them to tell him themselves! I received blank stares in response, so quickly climbed the stairs and stage-whispered my name to the announcer. He got a bit flustered too, turned a bunch of pages until he found me. I was mildly irritated about it at first, but in hindsight, it was a good thing. It gave me an opportunity to make sure my name was pronounced correctly. Also, I was the first student announced (of those graduating from the MNSA), so I got more applause than the poor bastard who was last.

I just couldn't understand why there were people missing. The way it works is this: People nominate to graduate (ie attend the graduation ceremony). They fill in forms etc weeks before the fact. When they arrive at the actual venue, their names are checked off. The final checked-off list is given to the marshalls. So Raymond and Peter, by virtue of being on that final list, must have been in attendance to have their names checked off. Why in the hell would you go to the graduation venue, get your name checked off, hire gowns etc and not bloody attend the actual graduation????

Anyway.. after that, we sat through a few musical performances, and a laboured speech presented by a woman who is, apparently, a motivational speaker and an authority on corporate leadership. I found her speech predictable and less than inspiring. It was not helped by the fact that she had not even learnt the speech, so it was read from a printed page on the lectern. The obligatory jokes were poorly-delivered as a result, and overall I found myself wondering that if this was the best the world of corporate leadership had to offer, we really need to improve. Nevertheless, some of her speech was relevant, and it was mercifully brief.

All done and dusted, we filed out in a procession and exited the hall. Mum yanked my degree out of my sweaty paws and took it straight to the onsite degree framing place. Then we had some professional photos taken, and finally, ordered a DVD of the occasion to send to my dad.

Upon re-read, the above retelling doesn't really do the occasion justice. Despite my whinging about flies, tiredness, stress, boring speeches and missing graduates, it really was a very awe-inspiring experience. At times, I found myself on the verge of tears. At one point, the voices in my head were repeating, "just don't cry on stage, just don't cry on stage, just don't cry on stage". It turns out I didn't cry at all

The graduation was followed by a wine-and-cheese thing, complete with IT Masters jacket presentation, on the other side of the campus. We thought it was walking distance away. It was not. After spending 30 minutes walking in new shoes, we (me, mum, maxbabe) were all totally over it. Finally we called a cab to take us to the wine-and-cheese thing. It was all over. They were dismantling the tables etc and packing up. I grabbed a jacket and left. GRRRR!!!

We went back to our hotel, took more happy snaps, then had dinner at the 5-star restaurant downstairs. It was a delicious meal. 3 Chefs, if you're ever in Wagga, downstairs at the Townhouse International. By the end of the meal, we were all exhausted. I packed mum into a taxi, then joined MaxBabe upstairs to use the in-room spa. It was very relaxing, and a perfect way to end the day.

We collapsed into bed and just died. I woke early the next morning, used the gym across the road (in so doing, managed to not find their new, shiny equipment, instead only finding their craptacular hundred-year-old exercise bike, working out on it for 45 minutes, only then realising the new gear was on the other side of the room!!!), had a very fast breakfast and shot off to the airport.

Did I mention no security screening? We could've taken machetes onto that plane and had our very own 9-11. I just don't understand the inconsistencies. We were stopped at Brisbane domestic because MaxBabe dared to have a zippo lighter that actually contained lighter fluid (she very politely told security to go and get fucked, and they let her through. +1 to the terrorists), yet at this airport we could've taken an arsenal on board and nobody would've known. Go figure.

By the time we got to Sydney we were so grumpy we were tearing strips off each other. Thank Og I'd thought to use FF points to upgrade the Sydney-Brisbane flight to business class. Comfortable seats, good food, nice service. MaxBabe's meal was cut short by turbulence though. She got about three mouthfuls then had her food taken away! Poor thing! Got to Brisbane, tore more strips off each other, drove home in grumpy silence (complete with chain-smoking and road rage), finally got home and just died in the arse.

It's so good to be home!!!!!

MaxBabe was off the next day (Saturday) to go see her parents in Gladstone. I was supposed to go too but couldn't get time off work. So I am at home with MitchMutt, who has spent most of this evening quitely whimpering. I know he likes MaxBabe better than me, but I just wish he wouldn't be so damned obvious about it!!

Anyway.. this post is way too long, so it must be time for me to go to bed.