Today is shit

I’m not going to go into detail. Unless you’re an IT nerd, it wouldn’t make sense to you anyway. Just know the basics: I spent a week of my life setting up a system in a very particular way. And over the weekend, a “consultant” came in and hosed it. Then, instead of apologising, had the audacity to tell me that I asked her to do the thing that caused the hosing.

Go fuck yourself, you worthless bint. You’ve fucked my server and you’ve broken three other systems as a result. Go fuck yourself, go fuck yourself, go fuck yourself.

My new keyboard

The keyboard on my work computer is all but dead, so I decided to buy a replacement.  Since I'm a gamer, I'm fussy about these sorts of things, so I decided I'd get a gaming keyboard, and do one of two things:

  1. Use the new gaming keyboard at work and keep my old one at home; or
  2. Replace my gaming keyboard at home and take my old one to work.

So over the weekend, I bought one of these, with the intention of going with the first plan:

 

It's a Logitech G710+ and it is really, really good.  It's a mechanical keyboard (all the rage in gaming these days), and it's super-good for typing.  That might sound like a weird thing to say about a keyboard, but some are better than others, and some are much, much better than others.  This falls into the latter category.

It's so good that I don't want to take it to work.  But I have to take something.  But here's the thing.  My home keyboard (the G15) has an LCD display on it that I rely upon when gaming.  It doesn't tell me anything special about my in-game stats, though it's capable of doing that with the right software.  No.  It tells me the time.  It seems that this capability is far more important to me than I'd previously realised, because in yesterday's gaming session, not knowing the time drove me fucking insane.

So as good as this keyboard is, it's going to work.  And now, of course, I want a new one for home.  But that's a discussion for another day.  Right now, I must bid farewell to this lovely new piece of technology, and pack it up for work.

 

The thing about women’s clothes

After losing a stack of weight years ago (about 28kg/62lb, for anyone who cares), I had to do the one thing I dreaded more than the effort required to lose the weight in the first place: buy a new wardrobe.

I am not a fashion queen. I am not glamorous. Until that point in my life, my clothes shopping was conducted in the “you’re-obese-but-we-love-you-anyway” section, or in the men’s department. So my wardrobe consisted mostly of things that didn’t fit me properly (eg a super-long leg because the waist needed to be so huge) and were ugly.

So when it came time to actually go clothes shopping, I had pretty low expectations. But I was surprised. First of all, things actually fit and looked good. But the thing that really got me was…

….apparently women don’t need pockets. Being that I wore men’s clothes for so very long, it never occurred to me that clothing for women would be so fucking useless. Listen up, folks, I’m a dyke. Not a lipstick lesbian, not a glamour queen, not a fucking catwalk model. I want clothes that can hold my car keys. My wallet. My mobile phone. I don’t want no stinking purse!!!!

And apparently women don’t wear long sleeves, or require clothing that keeps them warm. No, that is exclusively a male requirement.

I’ve wanted to write about this so many times, but every time I’ve refrained. But it turns out someone’s beaten me to the punch. Have a read of this great article: http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-7-most-baffling-things-about-womens-clothes/

Every single word is golden truth.

 

And while you're there, visit this one:  http://www.cracked.com/article_18622_plus-sized-clothes-translating-baffling-euphemisms.html.  Also golden truth.

Benson’s wristwatch

Just for fun, I thought I'd check out what sort of watch Benson wears on SVU.  I've always known deep down inside that all the stuff these characters wear is way out of the range of "normal", "affordable" or "realistic" – either for the characters or for the people watching the show.

So it wasn't a great surprise when I found that the Benson character wears a Breitling Chronomat.  For those of you who are curious what this looks like, and more importantly, how much such a thing costs, check this out:

http://www.chrono24.com/en/breitling/chronomat–mod13.htm.  The cheapest one is a touch over a thousand dollars!!!!!  And hey, if you feel like going up-market, there's the $33,500 version. If that's a little cheap for your tastes, try on the $75,300 version.  What's that, you still feel like it's not quite expensive enough?  No problem.  There's a few that fit into the "if you have to ask, you can't afford it" category.

Fucking oath, what drugs are these people on?  Is it any wonder that regular Joe Schmoes like us will never, ever, ever look like the people we idolise?